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Funniest reason for being kicked out of somewhere

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  • Not very Holy Jo!!
  • sam3110 said:

    Got kicked out of an Indian restaurant while on cricket tour in Devon (i was 15 at the time) because the vice captain started a food fight.

    Got asked to leave a cinema when i was younger for too much "heavy petting" in the back row.

    Thrown out of a pub for puking into the rosebushes in their garden, at quarter past 3 on a Sunday, infront of about 40 people enjoying their Sunday lunch

    Such intolerance is beyond me.
  • CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

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  • ...

    holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    This needs more details
    agreed, there's questions unanswered there!
  • MarkyE83 said:

    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

    River Reggae indeed... What a place
  • ...

    holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    This needs more details
    agreed, there's questions unanswered there!
    Rather sadly , I have just sent my PA a dictation to complete with the details of said event ...... A great use of her time I am sure
  • Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
  • edited May 2018
    Acab said:

    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
    Also got thrown out of Blackpool in 72 Blackpool 72
  • MarkyE83 said:



    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    I’m crying!!!
  • CAFCsayer said:

    MarkyE83 said:

    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

    River Reggae indeed... What a place
    @CAFCsayer completely off topic were you at Shrewsbury game Thursday? Just clocked your profile picture and think I was stood/ sat next to you if you were maybe?
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  • MarkyE83 said:

    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.

    I need to be taught these game rules haha
  • Once got kicked out for being punched in the face...was talking to a girl id been meeting and texting for a few weeks and her mum didn't like the look of me and punched me in the mouth! I didnt retaliate but apparently it was my fault! Had been drinking but not at all drunk. Weird one....
  • JaShea99 said:

    Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    Presumably because he’s an absolute lad whose banter is out of control and can’t be tamed.
    Ha! That reminded me of this classic...
  • Ha, that was part of the inspiration.
  • edited May 2018
    I was thrown out of Trafalgar square one new years eve in the 90's. Me and a mate had obtained a giant wooden banana from somewhere during the evening. we managed to sneak it through the security much to our amazement. I then held it above my head in triumph shortly followed by a tap on the shoulder from a police officer who firmly explained to me that I was going to "Return that fucking thing from wherever I got it"

  • Acab said:

    Acab said:

    Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I too got ejected from the away end when the 5th went in. My crime was to utter’ffs’ in earshot of two young female officers. I said I can save you the bother as I ain’t staying but they insisted on dragging me away.
    Also got thrown out of Blackpool in 72 Blackpool 72
    Plus millwall twice Oxford and cheesterfield.
    Honest Guv I ain't done nuffing.
  • MarkyE83 said:

    Kicked out of Venue for having a rip in my jeans. Rung up the cabbie who dropped us off as we’d only be in there 5 minutes. He was smaller than me but we swapped jeans. I struggled with all the stairs but was a cracking night. Swapped back on the way home. He had some funny comments while driving around, a cabbie wearing crazy Mosch.

    Kicked out of the Venue another time as I got short changed and argued. They were bad in there for doing that.

    Kicked out of Zens for having a shit. The doorman said I was doing drugs in there. I proved otherwise and called him a ‘fat melt’ and was ejected shortly after wiping.

    Kicked out of Bedrock in Aiya Napa from singing YMCA when I said I’d sing wonderwall.

    Kicked out of my mates wedding for playing Cock Cocktail at the bar. Great game.

    Kicked out of Matrix in Berlin for playing nosing with the doorman. Another great game when you’ve had a few.

    Bagleys in Kings Cross for wearing white contact lenses.

    I’ll add more as I remember.

    I had that (not Zens) I had to persuade the bouncer into the loo and get him to smell it so he wouldn't chuck me out.
  • When I was a skinny gangly kid weighing about 7 stone, I was kicked out the Cupboard End when we played Plymouth about '79.
    Someone swore at the ref, I laughed and old black beard the copper, decided it was me and frog marched me to the holding cell under the old main stand, the spiteful fucker even gave me a couple of digs to get me on my way, and then threw me in the cell that contained only Plymouth.......then after the game, they chucked me out. I think we last as well?
  • got kicked out of a pub for making a comment on the barmans suntan sunglass mark, i asked how was your holiday.
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