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Funniest reason for being kicked out of somewhere

To cheer me up on a Monday when our season is over, what are the funniest reasons you lot have ever been chucked out of a pub, club, restaurant, team, gang, job, etc etc etc?
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  • I got manhandled out of Stamford Bridge on suspicion of being a ticket tout, this was long before the days when they used to sell out.

  • fell asleep in the Venue
  • A casino in Portugal. Ran out of chips early doors & left my mates at the gambling tables. They were summond to take me home 10 mins later as I had fallen asleep on one of the sofas in the foyer & was snoring loudly....putting off those coming in.
  • Croydon said:

    Projectile vomited over a girl's back in a bar in Brighton before going outside to stick 2 fingers down my throat and heave the rest up.

    Thought I had managed to find myself a secluded spot round the corner from the doorman but forgot that the entire front of the place was glass so everyone inside had seen me lay the contents of my stomach out on the pavement

    Did you score with her afterwards?
  • edited May 14
    The last time I got thrown out was during Euro 96, from a club in Whitley Bay. My Bulgarian buddy (of susbsequent Kish fame) was in a rare bad mood as Bulgaria, whom we had watched and mixed with up there, were out (and the club was full of slappers). He seemed unaware that its not a good idea to make observations to a bouncer about his haircut. Out he went. The moment I started to protest, I was grabbed from behind and propelled out with him.
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  • I got thrown out of the Paper Moon in Dartford once because I sat on the edge of a table as there weren't any chairs available.
  • Not quite a thrown out story bit one of my mates got refused entry to the Tunnel Club one new years eve for some dress code issue.

    Problem for him was that he'd necked a pill in the queue and spent NYE off his tits wandering around the local area.

    I got refused entry to a club for a dress code issue. I was wearing black tie FFS (it was after a boxing dinner).

    (nothing to do with being too old, I'm sure)
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  • Escorted out of Burger King / Greenwich by the police.

    20 odd years ago. Was around 10.30 / 11.00pm. We had ordered our food. A female friend then asked if she could use the loo. The staff said no as it had been locked up. Arguments went on for another 20 minutes. I don't remember saying anything. My friend then went off to find a toilet. I waited in BK for her to return. In the meantime BK had called the police. They turned up and I was kicked out.
  • Me and my pal were refused entry to Venue because the jam role on the door said no all male groups, even though we were with a couple of birds who had already gone through, which he knew. Another Sunday morning being let out the back of Greenwich nick and strolling straight round Wetherspoons for breakfast. Never done me no harm.....
  • Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    You got to have some balls to do that! ;)
  • Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    probably using it as a plumb bob
  • Got kicked out of an Indian restaurant while on cricket tour in Devon (i was 15 at the time) because the vice captain started a food fight.

    Got asked to leave a cinema when i was younger for too much "heavy petting" in the back row.

    Thrown out of a pub for puking into the rosebushes in their garden, at quarter past 3 on a Sunday, infront of about 40 people enjoying their Sunday lunch
  • Someone I know at Uni got kicked out of a pub for putting his testicle in his mate's pint glass.

    On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why he did it.

    "Someone I know"

    Yeah right. We ain't buying that!
    I wouldn't risk my balls touching any sort of glass if i'm honest mate!
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