I assume I am invisible to all other road users, that anyway they want to kill me, and they will break every highway code rule. And that means each one of you! I am the only driver I know who drives properly.
A category for drivers who cannot park properly in supermarket car parks. The lines are clearly painted so you can park between them not on them. Wa#%#$RSVP.
And what is it with reversing into supermarket spaces, then bashing all your bags against the side/front of my car when to try to put your shopping in the boot?
DRIVE in so you've got access to the boot, then REVERSE out - you still get to play with all the gears.
My mother in law is a such a stereotypical shit driver, she's like one of those ancient medical pictures of people with every disease. She drives a Nissan Micra incredibly slowly, takes an hour to turn right, hogs the left lane of the roundabout even if going right, all the while blissfully unaware of any other car on the road. She probably thinks they are all bad drivers as they swerve to avoid her, horns and lights blazing. She's about 4 foot tall and looks like Hans moleman behind the wheel.
Ive never been more fearful of my life than when I'm in the car with her.
My missus’ best mate is the worst driver ever. Once she gave me a lift from the (now old) bus garage in t Wells down to the pantiles in tunbridge Wells, if you know the area it’s about 10 min walk and a 3-4 min drive and I think I genuinely feared for my life about 3 times during that entire journey, culminating in swerving in front of on coming traffic to grab a parking space.
I once overtook a woman driver on the M25 who was applying her eye make-up using the vanity mirror on her sun-visor. But blue eye shadow with a pink dress,what was she thinking.
I am within category 2 for the make of car but I am largely considerate. Hate tailgating. Not a massive fan of using my indicators though - I'll admit to that. I do love to annoy people trying to cut-in though. I can see them approaching in my mirrors and I make it as difficult as possible just because they are being a dick.
Poor driving really annoys me to the point I have bought a dash cam because there are so many numpties out there I feel I need to cover my arse at all times
Now we have four lanes on some motorways we now have two middle lanes for the dozy tossers to choose who previously could only fuck up one lane of traffic.
I gave up pulling out and going round them years ago, undertake them.
Great. Next time my brother says "look at that ignorant Lithuanian immigrant" I can say, nah, that's probably Eaststandmike.
I am within category 2 for the make of car but I am largely considerate. Hate tailgating. Not a massive fan of using my indicators though - I'll admit to that. I do love to annoy people trying to cut-in though. I can see them approaching in my mirrors and I make it as difficult as possible just because they are being a dick.
Poor driving really annoys me to the point I have bought a dash cam because there are so many numpties out there I feel I need to cover my arse at all times
I am within category 2 for the make of car but I am largely considerate. Hate tailgating. Not a massive fan of using my indicators though - I'll admit to that. I do love to annoy people trying to cut-in though. I can see them approaching in my mirrors and I make it as difficult as possible just because they are being a dick.
Poor driving really annoys me to the point I have bought a dash cam because there are so many numpties out there I feel I need to cover my arse at all times
LOL - I get the irony. I meant to say dangerous driving annoys me more - middle lane hoggers, undertaking, excessive speeding. I indicate when there are cars expecting me too (ie roundabouts and changing lanes on a motorway) but if there's nobody around I rarely bother.
When two lanes are converging and everyone has formed an orderly queue in the left-hand lane to make it more likely you'll move through smoothly and you see in your wing mirror, a car approaching in the empty outside lane, jumping the queue...what fun it is to move out and block the lane and halt their queue barging. The cars in the left-hand lane always leave a car-sized gap for me to slip back into but I do spend several minutes anxiously checking the rear-view mirror for a crazed driver jumping out of his car to bludgeon me to death.
When two lanes are converging and everyone has formed an orderly queue in the left-hand lane to make it more likely you'll move through smoothly and you see in your wing mirror, a car approaching in the empty outside lane, jumping the queue...what fun it is to move out and block the lane and halt their queue barging. The cars in the left-hand lane always leave a car-sized gap for me to slip back into but I do spend several minutes anxiously checking the rear-view mirror for a crazed driver jumping out of his car to bludgeon me to death.
Oh yeh... forgot that one... hate those twats!
QUEUE UP LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD.
Don't get me started, it is such a chore being the best driver in the world and always right.
First, what sort of idiot takes their road car round the Nurburgring?
Second, what are the organisers doing letting all that breakable plastic, headlights, rear lights, etc. on the track?
Third, the person on the bike needs their head examined. It's bad enough being on the same road as cars where at least there's a chance they might not crash, riding round a racetrack with idiots in cars going far too fast would be petrifying. It's not like you can pull away from them and not have to worry 'cos they're behind you, sooner or later you'll catch up with them again.
A category for drivers who cannot park properly in supermarket car parks. The lines are clearly painted so you can park between them not on them. Wa#%#$RSVP.
And what is it with reversing into supermarket spaces, then bashing all your bags against the side/front of my car when to try to put your shopping in the boot?
DRIVE in so you've got access to the boot, then REVERSE out - you still get to play with all the gears.
Drivers who use their rear fog lights in the rain. You do not need them on, I can see you because I have my wipers on, you are blinding me not helping me.
The clue is the name, FOG lights not Rain lights...................fucking twats.
Equally people who don't put lights on when needed.
I was driving to Bath and back that weekend in Jan when we had all the rain and broke all the records or whatever. There was also loads of fog disability was horrendous 3 or 4 car lengths max. The number of cars driving in that with no lights on was ridiculous. Was impossible to see them until you were right in the back of them.
A category for drivers who cannot park properly in supermarket car parks. The lines are clearly painted so you can park between them not on them. Wa#%#$RSVP.
And what is it with reversing into supermarket spaces, then bashing all your bags against the side/front of my car when to try to put your shopping in the boot?
DRIVE in so you've got access to the boot, then REVERSE out - you still get to play with all the gears.
Have to disagree, much safer to drive out.
How do you manage to put all your shopping in the boot when you reverse in.
When two lanes are converging and everyone has formed an orderly queue in the left-hand lane to make it more likely you'll move through smoothly and you see in your wing mirror, a car approaching in the empty outside lane, jumping the queue...what fun it is to move out and block the lane and halt their queue barging. The cars in the left-hand lane always leave a car-sized gap for me to slip back into but I do spend several minutes anxiously checking the rear-view mirror for a crazed driver jumping out of his car to bludgeon me to death.
Oh yeh... forgot that one... hate those twats!
QUEUE UP LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD.
Don't get me started, it is such a chore being the best driver in the world and always right.
You should actually use all the available road space and merge in turn if safe to do so (see 134)
The selfish ones are those who try to frustrate those of us driving according to the Highway Code.
Probably the self same people who like to stop, have a flask of tea and a sandwich and say 'ooh look at the pretty accident' whilst driving on the M25 and other motorways.
I do love to annoy people trying to cut-in though. I can see them approaching in my mirrors and I make it as difficult as possible just because they are being a dick.
My favourite hobby. Stay in the middle lane heading from J4 to J5 on the M25, under the bridge and down the hill. You can see them in the fast lane in your mirrors, knowing they want to go onto the M25 rather than the A21 heading to T/Wells.
They either have to slam on their brakes to drop behind to get into the correct lane, or carry onto the A21 pretending that's where they wanted to go anyway.
Get told off all the time by the missus and I know it's inconsiderate (though not breaking any laws), but all they're trying to do is get in front of a couple of cars and if they've left it too late to turn off, then it's their fault. Surprisingly high number of them are BMWs.
When two lanes are converging and everyone has formed an orderly queue in the left-hand lane to make it more likely you'll move through smoothly and you see in your wing mirror, a car approaching in the empty outside lane, jumping the queue...what fun it is to move out and block the lane and halt their queue barging. The cars in the left-hand lane always leave a car-sized gap for me to slip back into but I do spend several minutes anxiously checking the rear-view mirror for a crazed driver jumping out of his car to bludgeon me to death.
Oh yeh... forgot that one... hate those twats!
QUEUE UP LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD.
Don't get me started, it is such a chore being the best driver in the world and always right.
You should actually use all the available road space and merge in turn if safe to do so (see 134)
The selfish ones are those who try to frustrate those of us driving according to the Highway Code.
Probably the self same people who like to stop, have a flask of tea and a sandwich and say 'ooh look at the pretty accident' whilst driving on the M25 and other motorways.
Depends on the road layout, I'd say. If you're on a dual carriageway and there is a mile of empty road behind the queue so that joining the queue isn't going to obstruct any other routes, then the twat is the driver who races past 100m of considerate drivers to edge his way into the front. Still, I may be wrong; I'll carry a copy of the Highway Code next time I jump the buffet queue.
I fucking HATE hackney carriages. They're unbelievably entitled and aggressive. I once crossed a road not at a crossing, but where there was a massive buildup behind a red light. The cabbie I attempted to cross in front of had left a yard between him and the car in front, but on seeing me crossing, moved forward so I couldn't get past. He then unleashed some choice swear words. Might have had a racial edge to it, but I don't know - there have been too many occasions where cabbies have told me to fuck off back to my own country, or asked my mates to do the same, or otherwise complain about "the foreigners".
I’m not a cabbie but am a racist, now F Off back to your own country;)
I fucking HATE hackney carriages. They're unbelievably entitled and aggressive. I once crossed a road not at a crossing, but where there was a massive buildup behind a red light. The cabbie I attempted to cross in front of had left a yard between him and the car in front, but on seeing me crossing, moved forward so I couldn't get past. He then unleashed some choice swear words. Might have had a racial edge to it, but I don't know - there have been too many occasions where cabbies have told me to fuck off back to my own country, or asked my mates to do the same, or otherwise complain about "the foreigners".
I’m not a cabbie but am a racist, now F Off back to your own country;)
Is this supposed to be funny?
Don't get offended on my behalf.
Yes, I would guess it's meant to be funny, but the man's clearly an idiot. I didn't want to respond.
Apologies, it was meant as a joke, didn’t realise you’d be so sensitive:(
Conversation between my aunt (blind as a bat) and my uncle (deaf as a post) coming to a roundabout. Me in the back seat. Uncle: Any thing coming dear? Aunt: I can't see anything George. Uncle: What did you say dear? Never know how we got to the airport.
When two lanes are converging and everyone has formed an orderly queue in the left-hand lane to make it more likely you'll move through smoothly and you see in your wing mirror, a car approaching in the empty outside lane, jumping the queue...what fun it is to move out and block the lane and halt their queue barging. The cars in the left-hand lane always leave a car-sized gap for me to slip back into but I do spend several minutes anxiously checking the rear-view mirror for a crazed driver jumping out of his car to bludgeon me to death.
Oh yeh... forgot that one... hate those twats!
QUEUE UP LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD.
Don't get me started, it is such a chore being the best driver in the world and always right.
You should actually use all the available road space and merge in turn if safe to do so (see 134)
The selfish ones are those who try to frustrate those of us driving according to the Highway Code.
Probably the self same people who like to stop, have a flask of tea and a sandwich and say 'ooh look at the pretty accident' whilst driving on the M25 and other motorways.
Depends on the road layout, I'd say. If you're on a dual carriageway and there is a mile of empty road behind the queue so that joining the queue isn't going to obstruct any other routes, then the twat is the driver who races past 100m of considerate drivers to edge his way into the front. Still, I may be wrong; I'll carry a copy of the Highway Code next time I jump the buffet queue.
I believe it was the Germans who worked out first that the most efficient use of road space is exactly as @LenGlover described. I felt uncomfortable with it at first, as do many Czechs, but it does seem to be accepted by the professionals that it reduces traffic jams.
Middle lane hoggers, those who cut in at the last moment. The other day I witnessed a car going in and out of traffic like it a racing circuit, utterly stupid and dangerous.
What also gets my goat are those who do 40mph on the slip road on to a motorway, thats dangerous as the slip road is top be used to get momentum allowing to slot in safely.
a new one I have found recently has to be the stealth attacker that is the Toyota Prius. in central London they seem pretty popular. problem is you cant hear them. in some areas they ambush you round corners, hunting in packs.
the drivers seem ok but I think the manufactures might have to think about making the car louder.
I am within category 2 for the make of car but I am largely considerate. Hate tailgating. Not a massive fan of using my indicators though - I'll admit to that. I do love to annoy people trying to cut-in though. I can see them approaching in my mirrors and I make it as difficult as possible just because they are being a dick.
Poor driving really annoys me to the point I have bought a dash cam because there are so many numpties out there I feel I need to cover my arse at all times
LOL - I get the irony. I meant to say dangerous driving annoys me more - middle lane hoggers, undertaking, excessive speeding. I indicate when there are cars expecting me too (ie roundabouts and changing lanes on a motorway) but if there's nobody around I rarely bother.
If you were biker you wouldn't be as blasé about not indicating. Most time a biker's hit the car driver says "I didn't see him".
Comments
I am the only driver I know who drives properly.
DRIVE in so you've got access to the boot, then REVERSE out - you still get to play with all the gears.
Poor driving really annoys me to the point I have bought a dash cam because there are so many numpties out there I feel I need to cover my arse at all times
Great. Next time my brother says "look at that ignorant Lithuanian immigrant" I can say, nah, that's probably Eaststandmike.
And another Lithuainian immigrant, this one with a sense of humour:
QUEUE UP LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD.
Don't get me started, it is such a chore being the best driver in the world and always right.
First, what sort of idiot takes their road car round the Nurburgring?
Second, what are the organisers doing letting all that breakable plastic, headlights, rear lights, etc. on the track?
Third, the person on the bike needs their head examined. It's bad enough being on the same road as cars where at least there's a chance they might not crash, riding round a racetrack with idiots in cars going far too fast would be petrifying. It's not like you can pull away from them and not have to worry 'cos they're behind you, sooner or later you'll catch up with them again.
I was driving to Bath and back that weekend in Jan when we had all the rain and broke all the records or whatever. There was also loads of fog disability was horrendous 3 or 4 car lengths max. The number of cars driving in that with no lights on was ridiculous. Was impossible to see them until you were right in the back of them.
http://www.highwaycodeuk.co.uk/multi-lane-carriageways.html
The selfish ones are those who try to frustrate those of us driving according to the Highway Code.
Probably the self same people who like to stop, have a flask of tea and a sandwich and say 'ooh look at the pretty accident' whilst driving on the M25 and other motorways.
They either have to slam on their brakes to drop behind to get into the correct lane, or carry onto the A21 pretending that's where they wanted to go anyway.
Get told off all the time by the missus and I know it's inconsiderate (though not breaking any laws), but all they're trying to do is get in front of a couple of cars and if they've left it too late to turn off, then it's their fault. Surprisingly high number of them are BMWs.
Uncle: Any thing coming dear?
Aunt: I can't see anything George.
Uncle: What did you say dear?
Never know how we got to the airport.
What also gets my goat are those who do 40mph on the slip road on to a motorway, thats dangerous as the slip road is top be used to get momentum allowing to slot in safely.
the drivers seem ok but I think the manufactures might have to think about making the car louder.