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Football for a Fiver Bingo

If you are going on Saturday, score one point for each of the following you experience. Report back after the game with your score.

1) People who turn up at kick-off time, stand looking around helplessly then realise their seats are at the far end of the row. Instead of going out and coming in the right end of the row, they attempt to reach their seats by making everyone else in that row stand up.

2) Missing the first 10 minutes of the game because people who don't know where their seats are situated continually block your view as they walk around trying to find them.

3) Kid sitting behind you who kicks the back of your seat throughout the whole game

4) The kicking kid having a dopey dad, who despite the fact that you are glaring at him, doesn't realise that his precious little son is actually an annoying brat and does nothing to stop him kicking your seat.

5) Kicking kid's dad getting all upset and telling you not to use language like that in front of his kid when you tell him what you are going to do to him unless he stops his annoying brat kicking your seat

6) Finding your foot stuck to the floor after annoying brat behind has spilt his coke and his drink has run down under your feet (also ruining your bag and anything else you have put under your seat).

7) Dopey dad explaining to his brat of a son that the teams aren't passing to the man wearing a black shirt because he is the referee and not actually playing.

8) 3 blokes in front of you who talk non-stop throughout the game about the fit bird at work, where they are going drinking tonight and whether Pogba is finished at Man Utd, never mentioning the game or Charlton once.

9) 4 blokes in your row who have obviously been to the pub beforehand and having drunk 4 pints before the game, spend the entire game going out to the toilet one by one.

10) Same 4 blokes, who when not going to the toilet, go out one by one to buy burger or chips.

11) Bloke next to you who asks you after 10 minutes which team is Charlton.

12) Bloke on other side who asks if Curbishley is still the manager.

13) Kids seen wearing Man Utd, Liverpool, Tottenham, Chelsea or West Ham shirts. (Score one point for each)

14) Missing the last 10 minutes of the game as your view is constantly blocked by people leaving early.

I really love football for a fiver matches.

Comments

  • (1) | (2) | (8) | (13) for me I reckon.

    I wont be the dopey Dad for a few years as won't take my Son till he's old enough to watch a game properly without irritating people as mentioned above
  • 9) will be me and my lot.
  • Macronate said:

    9) will be me and my lot.

    Only 4 pints?
  • 16) Someone filming on an iPad
  • So basically like going to a match with @ElfsborgAddick ?
  • 17) Being asked by a Fiver fan if I'm in the right seat? *waves season ticket to the bloke with a blank face who has no idea what it is*

    18) Following on, then being asked if I wouldn't mind shuffling along a few seats so his group can all sit together despite plenty of seats being available elsewhere in the stadium.

    Yes this has happened before.
  • Why pick on 3 blokes?
  • 3, 4 and 5 happen to me every game anyway, plus there's an old guy with a flask of soup for half time and when he opens it the most horrible smell comes out and pretty much the whole row leave him to it and we come back for the second half.
  • guarantee someone will be sitting in my seat, because they are too stupid to figure out where they are mean't to be sitting or think it's a sit where you want policy
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  • 3) Kid sitting behind you who kicks the back of your seat throughout the whole game

    ***

    As a parent of a kid that does this all game, we deliberately chose one of the emptiest blocks to sit in so this would not be an impacting issue. Worked out well on a game by game basis so we got half season tickets. Since then, the Club / Trust have used the seats around us and infront of us as freebies every game, so I’ve been having to spend the whole game either holding his legs or him sat on my lap so he doesn’t boot them all game!
  • 3) Kid sitting behind you who kicks the back of your seat throughout the whole game

    ***

    As a parent of a kid that does this all game, we deliberately chose one of the emptiest blocks to sit in so this would not be an impacting issue. Worked out well on a game by game basis so we got half season tickets. Since then, the Club / Trust have used the seats around us and infront of us as freebies every game, so I’ve been having to spend the whole game either holding his legs or him sat on my lap so he doesn’t boot them all game!

    At least you try mate. The problem we have is the parents who don’t give a flying wotsit. I nearly had a fight for the first time since I was a school kid at a game earlier this season with the father and grandfather of a little seat-kicker. I tried the polite approach several times (at least three times more than was appropriate). Then I’m afraid it was a rather stern word or two which I wasn’t proud of in front of the kid but everyone has a breaking point. In fairness it was a toss up which of my row was going to crack first as the impact of the seat kicking reverberates through several seats as they are all connected. I could actually have put up with the seat licking with a bit of self restraint. It was the attitude of the parent/grandparent that really wound me up.
  • 3) Kid sitting behind you who kicks the back of your seat throughout the whole game

    ***

    As a parent of a kid that does this all game, we deliberately chose one of the emptiest blocks to sit in so this would not be an impacting issue. Worked out well on a game by game basis so we got half season tickets. Since then, the Club / Trust have used the seats around us and infront of us as freebies every game, so I’ve been having to spend the whole game either holding his legs or him sat on my lap so he doesn’t boot them all game!

    He must take after his mum then if his legs are long enough to reach the seat in front of him :smile:
  • 3) Kid sitting behind you who kicks the back of your seat throughout the whole game

    ***

    ...In fairness it was a toss up which of my row was going to crack first as the impact of the seat kicking reverberates through several seats as they are all connected. I could actually have put up with the seat licking with a bit of self restraint. It was the attitude of the parent/grandparent that really wound me up.

    You sure it was a footy match you were at? :smile:

  • The "where is our seat" brigade are always the most infuriating on these occasions. Especially as they always insist on sitting on where their seats are allocated, oblivious to the fact there are about 15,000 empty seats around them.
  • A very disappointing 2 points for me - only saw 1) and genuinely had a 3) behind me. (Heart sank when I walked in and saw 3 little ones sitting behind me). But when I finally asked the mother after an hour for her to stop her kids kicking the back of my seat she was quite amenable.

    Anyone score 3 or more?
  • A very disappointing 2 points for me - only saw 1) and genuinely had a 3) behind me. (Heart sank when I walked in and saw 3 little ones sitting behind me). But when I finally asked the mother after an hour for her to stop her kids kicking the back of my seat she was quite amenable.

    Anyone score 3 or more?
  • 1,2 and 14 but it wasn't too bad.

    We sit about a third of the way up the east, half way line, and it's the first time we have had more than a handful of people in front of us since, er, the last £5 game.

    Nice to see the North 80% full again
  • 15. Charlton lose (again).

    If anyone has it, I'd love to see a list of F4AF results - I bet it's less than impressive. I seem to remember we beat Stevenage once, but I can't remember any more victories off the top of my head.
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