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  • Well done Micky Bennett.
  • bellz2002 said:

    Brave and admire that he's spoken up about it. The more well-known people that do, the better.

    Let's end this myth of boys don't cry.

    They do if they support Charlton !
  • Well done Micky Bennett.

    He’s a bit under rated but Micky Bennett has been vocal about mental health on twitter for a number of years. He really is a bit of a legend actually and a really nice guy to boot.

    Great to see an ex pro doing something positive as a result of what forced him to retire ultimately

  • Firstly, thanks Covered End, for posting this,good to raise awareness.

    Secondly, great that Chris Kirkland has been willing to talk about his difficulties and also raise awareness.

    Thirdly, this will no doubt diminish my popularity, but hey who cares.

    Fourthly, there's Mental Health for Celebrities and Sports Stars,that's acceptable to the public, heck it's almost becoming fashionable!

    Fifthly, then there's Mental Health for those on the shop floor, that for the most part isn't acceptable by the public.

    There have been many on here who have talked about their battles with Mental Health, me included but do we get congratulated no, do we get the support, that these stars get, NO!

    I've been very open about my Mental Health issues, I feel it's the only way to beat ignorance and Stigma, it's the only way to stop myself feeling ashamed of who I am, when it's not my fault that this has happened to me, nor is it the fault of others on here who have also bared their souls. But some of the insensitive comments I've had, is unbelievable

    I've spent so much of my life constantly having to justify my very existence to those who think we're faking it or it's just a matter of being lazy or we just need to pull "our socks up"

    But hey presto a Celeb comes up and talks about their struggles, then their bloody heroes and get all the accolade and support imaginable!

    The real heroes are those people who have to live with their conditions and fight a daily fight just to get by, while constantly facing ignorance, doubters and those who accuse us of being shirkers and who don't get the support they deserve, through lack of funding/resources.


    ‘If those suffering from major Personality Disorders/Mental Health conditions were seen to have a condition with an external, traumatic aetiology, it would be more difficult to exclude them from the traditional illness discourse, and the sympathy that patients usually receive.’
    Van Velsen & Adshead (1997)

    Very valid points Sillav. The one advantage Celeb's have is that they are more likely to be in a position to make people more aware of mental illness and bring it more out in the open. And that can only be a good thing.
  • Rob said:

    Firstly, thanks Covered End, for posting this,good to raise awareness.

    Secondly, great that Chris Kirkland has been willing to talk about his difficulties and also raise awareness.

    Thirdly, this will no doubt diminish my popularity, but hey who cares.

    Fourthly, there's Mental Health for Celebrities and Sports Stars,that's acceptable to the public, heck it's almost becoming fashionable!

    Fifthly, then there's Mental Health for those on the shop floor, that for the most part isn't acceptable by the public.

    There have been many on here who have talked about their battles with Mental Health, me included but do we get congratulated no, do we get the support, that these stars get, NO!

    I've been very open about my Mental Health issues, I feel it's the only way to beat ignorance and Stigma, it's the only way to stop myself feeling ashamed of who I am, when it's not my fault that this has happened to me, nor is it the fault of others on here who have also bared their souls. But some of the insensitive comments I've had, is unbelievable

    I've spent so much of my life constantly having to justify my very existence to those who think we're faking it or it's just a matter of being lazy or we just need to pull "our socks up"

    But hey presto a Celeb comes up and talks about their struggles, then their bloody heroes and get all the accolade and support imaginable!

    The real heroes are those people who have to live with their conditions and fight a daily fight just to get by, while constantly facing ignorance, doubters and those who accuse us of being shirkers and who don't get the support they deserve, through lack of funding/resources.


    ‘If those suffering from major Personality Disorders/Mental Health conditions were seen to have a condition with an external, traumatic aetiology, it would be more difficult to exclude them from the traditional illness discourse, and the sympathy that patients usually receive.’
    Van Velsen & Adshead (1997)

    Very valid points Sillav. The one advantage Celeb's have is that they are more likely to be in a position to make people more aware of mental illness and bring it more out in the open. And that can only be a good thing.
    That’s very true Rob.

    But these stars are normally well off and can afford to get the help and support they need and for as long as they like. If in the case of a sports star, maybe even being supported by their clubs.

    While those at ground level have to wait 6 months to get an appointment and then if they’re lucky 6 sessions, to try and unravel years of hell and then cast off to fend for themselves. Because of a government and society who don’t give a shit and try to brush everything under the carpet and pretend it doesn’t exist.

    People’s lives are being played with and often extinguished!
  • edited October 14
    Sillav--- I just wanted to say your post is very inspiring and said very eloquently what I feel on a daily basis. Thankyou.
  • pilchard said:

    Sillav--- I just wanted to say your post is very inspiring and said very eloquently what I feel on a daily basis. Thankyou.

    Thank you @pilchard.
  • Unfortunately in all walks of life for an opinion to gain credence it is not what is said but who has said it often.
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  • pilchard said:

    Sillav--- I just wanted to say your post is very inspiring and said very eloquently what I feel on a daily basis. Thankyou.

    Thank you @pilchard.

    A pleasure. I very much appreciate what you said.
  • edited October 23
    I do hate the celebrity culture, however I do like that they are showing Mental Health issues can affect anyone.

    I do wonder though with some characters (like Katie Price) out there that jump on every band wagon they can, how sincere they are.

    I don't like how celebrities get so much free whilst we have to pay for those same especially quality counselling...

    It's a reminder how shit certain people, organisations and even medical institutions still treat average joes with mental health issues compared to someone that will be seen in the papers etc as using their services.

  • The thing that bugs me and I realise this is a generalisation but it would seem everyone and the world looks upon these celebs as great soothsayers and fall about themselves at their every word.

    How did it ever get to this?

    It really says something about our society that these people, get ridiculous amounts of money, so when the do have a fall, it'll be on a duck down pillow.

    While those doing the real work in life, those that work the NHS and the like, can barely scrape together enough money to pay the bills and work all the hours under the sun!!!!
  • All respect to Kirkland and any other 'celebrity' doing their bit to raise awareness on mental health issues in men. The stats speak for themselves, the amount of men taking their own life and suffering with mental health is astounding and it needs to be raised.
  • The thing that bugs me and I realise this is a generalisation but it would seem everyone and the world looks upon these celebs as great soothsayers and fall about themselves at their every word.

    How did it ever get to this?

    It really says something about our society that these people, get ridiculous amounts of money, so when the do have a fall, it'll be on a duck down pillow.

    While those doing the real work in life, those that work the NHS and the like, can barely scrape together enough money to pay the bills and work all the hours under the sun!!!!

    Mental health doesn't discriminate mate, a lot of people who suffer feel bad and don't talk because they have everything going for them and feel foolish in saying how they actually are suffering, as they know people are worse off. Rich or poor, black, white, green, purple. Male female, atheist muslims, theirs no discrimination in this horrible illness and people who suffer deserve all the support they can get, regardless.
  • Right behind you, sillav. Don't worry about the sarcy comments in other threads. Let it bounce off, mate. They aren't from people considering the bigger picture.
  • The thing that bugs me and I realise this is a generalisation but it would seem everyone and the world looks upon these celebs as great soothsayers and fall about themselves at their every word.

    How did it ever get to this?

    It really says something about our society that these people, get ridiculous amounts of money, so when the do have a fall, it'll be on a duck down pillow.

    While those doing the real work in life, those that work the NHS and the like, can barely scrape together enough money to pay the bills and work all the hours under the sun!!!!

    Mental health doesn't discriminate mate, a lot of people who suffer feel bad and don't talk because they have everything going for them and feel foolish in saying how they actually are suffering, as they know people are worse off. Rich or poor, black, white, green, purple. Male female, atheist muslims, theirs no discrimination in this horrible illness and people who suffer deserve all the support they can get, regardless.
    Not suggesting it does but for some it’s easier to get the help and support, than it is for others.
  • Right behind you, sillav. Don't worry about the sarcy comments in other threads. Let it bounce off, mate. They aren't from people considering the bigger picture.

    Thanks @Siv_in_Norfolk.
  • T.C.E said:

    Once again CL inspires me to talk about issues I struggled through glazed eyes to talk to a specialist about only two weeks ago. My memory problems have caused additional problems mainly stress and depression, I had a brain scan last week and await those results and spent a lot of last week very down, my wife as strong as ever with my mood swings and as patient and as caring as she always has been had told me that my sleep is almost nightly disturbed sleep caused by nightmares. With bad days slowly catching up the goods I get by reading CL to remind myself of what's gone on during the day, walking my dogs and an act I can seem to switch on with strangers to prevent myself breaking down in front of them. Whatever the underlying issues are medically, admitting it to myself I had a problem was the hardest thing I'll ever do. Cheers for listening

    Admitting the problem is the hard part.when I first spoke to a professional I felt a million times better - but the fear before I did it was horrific

    Mental health is a bastard. No doubt about it. But beating it and developing and learning the coping mechanisms is hugely rewarding too. Knowing I wasn’t alone helped, my wife was amazing throughout. Everyone is different but you need to find what works for you and work on it. It’s a shitty battle and you are absolutely not alone. Venting to online strangers can be cathartic too so feel free to let loose in here. And good luck with everything

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  • T.C.E said:

    Once again CL inspires me to talk about issues I struggled through glazed eyes to talk to a specialist about only two weeks ago. My memory problems have caused additional problems mainly stress and depression, I had a brain scan last week and await those results and spent a lot of last week very down, my wife as strong as ever with my mood swings and as patient and as caring as she always has been had told me that my sleep is almost nightly disturbed sleep caused by nightmares. With bad days slowly catching up the goods I get by reading CL to remind myself of what's gone on during the day, walking my dogs and an act I can seem to switch on with strangers to prevent myself breaking down in front of them. Whatever the underlying issues are medically, admitting it to myself I had a problem was the hardest thing I'll ever do. Cheers for listening

    I think you hit the nail on the head, T.C.E, admitting it to yourself.

    Even though I’ve know about my issues for some time I still find it hard acknowledging it.

    I think some of that is down to Stigma and the general attitude towards Mental Health, improving as it is, it still has such a long way to go.

    Good luck with your battle and your wife sounds like a rock, you’re a lucky man.
  • I read this account of Robert Enke's sad end on holiday. I don't know what drew me to it on the shelves amongst other biographies but I'm glad i read it as it gave me a better understanding of the problems people face.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Too-Short-Tragedy-Robert/dp/0224091662
  • Just watched on iplayer, Chris Packham-Aspergers and me.

    One thing which was said, which I think is interesting and I'm paraphrasing here " Instead of trying to change the individual to fit into society, society should adapt to fit the individual"

    I like that.
  • edited October 24
    Stone said:

    I read this account of Robert Enke's sad end on holiday. I don't know what drew me to it on the shelves amongst other biographies but I'm glad i read it as it gave me a better understanding of the problems people face.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Too-Short-Tragedy-Robert/dp/0224091662

    I was actually going to bring up Robert Enke. In talking to my good friend who is German about my own problems with depression, and her struggles, she mentioned Robert Enke and how he provided something of a wake up call, certainly within the football community there, but I think in a way that had ripple effect through society in general (please understand this is an anecdotal account, albeit one I've also read from German journalists so if this isn't correct please correct me).

    @sillav nitram I think you bring up some very valid points. And thank you for sharing with us. I really hope it's helpful for you. The only thing I'd caveat your comments with is that the disparity in resources is not Chris Kirkland's fault--which you never claimed, but I think it's worth noting.

    And I do think there is value in people who have a larger audience, like Kirkland, coming forward and sharing their story. For me personally, he describes things, a manifestation of depression, which I so closely relate to. It's something that I haven't seen put like this outside of my immediate family.

    I started writing the below a couple weeks ago, and for whatever reason never came back and finished it. I ended up posting something somewhat similar in the "Trump" thread when discussing US healthcare. But seeing Kirkland describe his depression was really helpful for me because one of the things I've had to come to grips with as I've started getting better after 2 1/2 years of really bad depression is that I don't remember much from the last 2 1/2 years. And it was nice to see that that memory loss isn't unique to me.




    Oh man does this feel familiar.

    It had gone too far. The four years, looking back now, I can't really remember a lot about it. It was just... I wasn't there for Lucy or Leeona.
    ...

    This is what the last two-and-a-half years feel like for me now. My depression had gotten so bad I even stopped walking the dog, which I have always done. I just felt as though everyone was looking at me when I was out. I just wanted to stay in the house, lock the door, shut the gate and not let anyone in.

    I put my phone on silent. I didn't call people back. I didn't reply to texts. Normal life just wasn't there anymore for me. I was in this different place and it is not a nice place to be.


    I stopped there and I don't have the strength to rehash things just now. Thanks for listening to my rambling incoherence.

  • All respect to Kirkland and any other 'celebrity' doing their bit to raise awareness on mental health issues in men. The stats speak for themselves, the amount of men taking their own life and suffering with mental health is astounding and it needs to be raised.

    100% this. Hard thing to talk about. Recently talking to a mate, a year younger than me. Both of us have had or about to finalise divorces. It's a weird one to have under your belt at the ages of 34 and 35. It's even more of a fucker when you see all your mates moving forward with their lives when we feel ours have sort of stalled. Not for one second suggesting we aren't happy seeing our mates doing well etc, but more points of reference

    Went to another mate's wedding on Saturday, really good friend and great day, but left me in a total funk for Sunday, yesterday and a bit of today.

    It's good to have him to talk too because we can joke about it etc. Like mentioning when the happy couple are looking back on the day, we could be at home watching Colin Murray and phil brown on football on 5.

    To be fair to him he's started counselling after blowing it with a bird recently, brave move. I think it's a bold thing to tackle it. Just me offloading on here has helped
  • edited October 24
    cabbles said:



    To be fair to him he's started counselling after blowing it with a bird recently, brave move. I think it's a bold thing to tackle it. Just me offloading on here has helped

    It's a big step to start counselling, the hardest step, perhaps - but it is one you will always look back and be grateful for taking. You walk in as a jigsaw box full of unconnected pieces and believing you are missing pieces, weeks go by and you'll slowly start to see the picture you were once or believed you once could be. They are very, very good in what they do (a counsellor worth his/her salt, at least) - they do such a job it is essentially you doing the job yourself by talking.

    Please, anyone, don't see it as a weakness to seek help, don't see it as a weakness to mention it to anyone. If the said person you mention it to shoots you down (I have had someone - a very narcissistic someone, infact, do so in the past.) then it says a lot about their own character. It's not selfish to seek help and it's not you thinking you are looking too far into it or driving yourself crazy when you are not, it can be a simple imbalance of chemicals, it can be set situations in life, it can be genetical.

    Be strong people. Treat mental health as seriously as, if not more than, your physical health.

    And good on Chris Kirkland for speaking out - it can affect any and all of us, a millionaire who you'll see with a smile on their face daily, or a man out on the street - it doesn't discriminate and nor should we over those who have their own troubles.
  • edited October 25
    SDAddick said:

    Stone said:

    I read this account of Robert Enke's sad end on holiday. I don't know what drew me to it on the shelves amongst other biographies but I'm glad i read it as it gave me a better understanding of the problems people face.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Too-Short-Tragedy-Robert/dp/0224091662

    I was actually going to bring up Robert Enke. In talking to my good friend who is German about my own problems with depression, and her struggles, she mentioned Robert Enke and how he provided something of a wake up call, certainly within the football community there, but I think in a way that had ripple effect through society in general (please understand this is an anecdotal account, albeit one I've also read from German journalists so if this isn't correct please correct me).

    @sillav nitram I think you bring up some very valid points. And thank you for sharing with us. I really hope it's helpful for you. The only thing I'd caveat your comments with is that the disparity in resources is not Chris Kirkland's fault--which you never claimed, but I think it's worth noting.

    And I do think there is value in people who have a larger audience, like Kirkland, coming forward and sharing their story. For me personally, he describes things, a manifestation of depression, which I so closely relate to. It's something that I haven't seen put like this outside of my immediate family.

    I started writing the below a couple weeks ago, and for whatever reason never came back and finished it. I ended up posting something somewhat similar in the "Trump" thread when discussing US healthcare. But seeing Kirkland describe his depression was really helpful for me because one of the things I've had to come to grips with as I've started getting better after 2 1/2 years of really bad depression is that I don't remember much from the last 2 1/2 years. And it was nice to see that that memory loss isn't unique to me.




    Oh man does this feel familiar.

    It had gone too far. The four years, looking back now, I can't really remember a lot about it. It was just... I wasn't there for Lucy or Leeona.
    ...

    This is what the last two-and-a-half years feel like for me now. My depression had gotten so bad I even stopped walking the dog, which I have always done. I just felt as though everyone was looking at me when I was out. I just wanted to stay in the house, lock the door, shut the gate and not let anyone in.

    I put my phone on silent. I didn't call people back. I didn't reply to texts. Normal life just wasn't there anymore for me. I was in this different place and it is not a nice place to be.


    I stopped there and I don't have the strength to rehash things just now. Thanks for listening to my rambling incoherence.

    Thanks for your comments @SDAddick

    And I hope you are on the mend it’s such a hard and dreadful battle and I wish everyone else well, that is also fighting a battle with their health be it Mental or Physical.

    Of course it’s not anyone’s fault if they find themselves in a position to get the best support available, I’d do so myself if I was in that position.

    And yes, you’re right, those who can command a bigger audience, well done to them for speaking up.

    My frustrations and I realise it may come across as though I’m having a go at celebs, is more to do with the injustice of our society.

    I know for myself, if I had the money or lived in a different postcode, I may be able to get better treatment for my condition but as things stand, it’s not available to me and so I have to go on, as many others do, suffering.

    We all know the issues in our health service are down to reasources/funding/cut backs and staff shortages, plus a Government who don’t put enough priority on these issues.

    But having said that, I still find it hard to believe and maybe this is because of my illness, that as a society, I know this is a generalisation, we appear to value and reward those who entertain us, rather than those who try to help, improve and save our lives!

    That to me is fundamentally wrong and indicates that our society and capitalism, is in itself sick!
  • The first footballer I remember openly talking about his problems was Stan collymore. He had a bad rep, and I thought at the time "how the fuck can you be depressed on £20k a week"? But mental health issues affect everyone, from a sports star (tiger woods is a great example) to anyone who works a bog standard job. Life is hard, no matter how much money you have. Kirkland may have had easier access to treatment and help, but it's the stigma of saying "I need help" that is important and he's talked honestly and openly. It may just inspire others to seek help, and that can only be a good thing.
  • Read the link below on Rob Elliot's battles with Mental Health issues whilst during his time at Charlton

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/4785338/newcastle-rob-elliot-i-had-a-bit-of-a-mental-breakdown-on-the-pitch/

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