Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

RDs first email to Karl Robinson

"...unfortunately the £10 million gained from the Lookman sale is allocated to the ongoing Sparrows Lane development. We have a contract with Burnley to provide them with 2 players every season and SL will support this. With regard to recruitment our chief scout Mr. Driesen, has been extensively playing FIFA Ultimate Team and from there has identified several players in the game who are currently out of contract in real life."

What else do you think was in this email?
«1

Comments

  • edited December 2016
    "We also understand that fans disliked Mr Slades negative football, so Mr Driesen has suggested a maximum of three backpasses to the goalie per game. If we have used 3 already, the defender can just kick it out for a corner. Oh and by suggest, we mean telling. Make note of that for future correspondence. Mr Driesen will definitely count the backpasses by the way. "
  • "...please use the following instructions in order to be able to suck an egg..."
  • However here is £50 million pounds to get any players you require to achieve promotion. Now I need to go as my hospital appointment is due. I have run out of my pills.
  • Please note we have taken extra steps to save some money... the fans were mocking the hexagonal goal nets so we've decided to get rid of them along with the corner flags and goal posts. Going forward the players will be required to position their coats and bags where the removed items used to sit.
  • Sponsored links:


  • edited December 2016
    I want you to play a 4-4-4 formation. We should easily overpower teams this way according to Mowg.....sorry our chief scout. Make it so! We have a keeper with no arms who is better than Rudd. Play him!!!
  • edited December 2016
    Dear Karl,

    I recently had to gaffa tape my shoes back together so dont go crying about lack of funds for a midfielder that can read a football match to the press. I will be happy however to supply a crayon drawing to our existing fit midfield of the sort of thing i require.

    Anything else, the useless looking article that swans in around 11am twice a week will be happy to fuck up.

    The clock is ticking.

    Roland
  • Dear Karl,
    I've just seen your contract. WTF? Excuse my French. I said to give you a two-and-a-half month contract and that dozy bint put years! You won't mind sorting it out by resigning at the end of January, will you?

    Your pal on in Belgium,
    Roland
  • Dear Karl,

    This article is about the overall concept of games called football. For specific versions of the game, the balls themselves and other uses of the term, see Football (disambiguation).
    Several codes of football. Images, from top down, left to right: association football, Australian rules football, international rules football, a rugby union scrum, rugby league, and American football.

    Football is a family of team sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball with the foot to score a goal. Unqualified, the word football is understood to refer to whichever form of football is the most popular in the regional context in which the word appears. Sports commonly called 'football' in certain places include: association football (known as soccer in some countries); gridiron football (specifically American football or Canadian football); Australian rules football; rugby football (either rugby league or rugby union); and Gaelic football.[1][2] These different variations of football are known as football codes.

    Various forms of football can be identified in history, often as popular peasant games. Contemporary codes of football can be traced back to the codification of these games at English public schools during the nineteenth century.[3][4]

    {...} etc.
  • Sponsored links:


  • Hello Karl, just to let you know, whatever you need just ask, but when I say ask I mean whisper, but then again when I say whisper I mean stick up your jacksy, hope that's okay, tough if it's not, all my love uncle R. X
  • it was probably just a picture of his cock.

    "you like huh?"

    How do you know uncle Roland keeps chickens?
  • Why isn't Thuram in goal ?
  • Dear Karl,

    Please can you place on Ebay anything left in the office from the previous incumbent. This will form the basis of your January transfer fund*

    Best reagrds,

    RolAND

  • CAFCTrev said:

    "...unfortunately the £10 million gained from the Lookman sale is allocated to the ongoing Sparrows Lane development. We have a contract with Burnley to provide them with 2 players every season and SL will support this. With regard to recruitment our chief scout Mr. Driesen, has been extensively playing FIFA Ultimate Team and from there has identified several players in the game who are currently out of contract in real life."

    What else do you think was in this email?

    The 33M debt owed to Stayprixks relates exclusively to Mr Driesen's purchases of ultimate team coins.

    Unfortunately he has only managed to pull Peter Parsley and Nabby Sarr from all those packs, is currently bottom of Division 10 but we have learnt from our mistakes.
  • Karl,
    Thomas has been scouting this weeks opponents Milton Keynes extensively on football manager and goals on 5. To put it bluntly he knows them better than you and will send you the team and formation for the weekend on Friday.

    Regards,
    Roland

    PS - If you're getting a taxi watch out for that pesky red and yellow one.
  • it was probably just a picture of his cock Anil Koc

    "you like huh?"

    Corrected for you ...
  • "Due to research, and discussions with Sir Thomas Driesden MBE, we will no longer be providing £5,000,000 in transfer budget for January. We have discovered, FIFA Ultimate Team coins will be more economical. Please liaise with Thomas, what players you like the look of, and are under 450 FUT coins."
  • 'Karl, thanks for travelling to Paris to meet with me. I found it difficult to understand then a word you said other than your clear enthusiasm for doing what I say.

    As we say in Belgium, a shoe is not dead while the sole survives.

    I am pleased you have taken my suggestion to keep Chris onboard.

    I think there are many cheap players in Europe and Driesen can help you with finding a football team organisation for the games that utilises the best of this cheaper talent.

    I know you will work with Katrien to ensure that the playing budget is significantly reduced again in January.

    You will remember that we discussed that money from player sales does not add to this budget, it is the weekly expenses that we are most concerned with. Of course a return to the championship is ever more likely as you and Driesen work together on the new team organisation.

    Now that you have met Tony Keohane, I'm sure you agree he can help to shape the off pitch activities and matchday experience with you. Katrien has nothing but good words for him and I think you will easily be able to see what an asset to the club he is.

    I hope the matchday experiences continue to improve.

    I look forward to seeing them all at some point and to catching up with you should either the results not go your way or should some of the fans once again disturb my home town.

    I have one motto here and that is I am the boss. Other than that you are free to ask Chris if you want to change anything.

    M. Duchatelet
  • Karl,

    Here in Belgium, we get all the players together each day in a field, or park, for a sort of rehearsal for the game, or 'training'. Everyone puts on football kit, runs around and kicks the ball, almost like a real match.

    Thomas says that apparently 'bibs' can be helpful here. I told him that judging by your ill-fitting suits you must have no problem getting food into your mouth, but I'm sure he'll explain on Monday. He said to meet in 'Sharon's Lane' - there's a spare building site with loads of room.

    Roland
Sign In or Register to comment.

Roland Out Forever!