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More handbag tales: what are these?

edited June 2015 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
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Comments

  • I can never find one when I need one.
  • My house is full of these f**king things. I'm always walking on them especially when I have no shoes on. Right f***s me off, it does!
  • If my missus asks, 'have you seen a hairclip'
    I reply
    'Shut your eyes, put the palm of your hand on the floor, and just move it around and Ill fckin assure you you will find one'
  • These wind me up so much, Im annoyed at myself that I didn't put it in the things that annoy uou thread
  • They are in competition with red elastic bands which the postman leave about.
  • Very popular in 1960's spy films, could open any lock.
  • I suppose one of the consequences of an ageing fanbase is that grumpy old men are everywhere!

    The hairclips in my house are all covered in sparkly bling so easy to avoid treading on. I'm chilled!

    Stay cool, won't you? ;-)
  • They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,
  • They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Definitely - just as long as you remember to use the closed end!!
  • They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Fella at work had that problem so he used a bic biro, few days later was struggling to hear from that ear, so went to the doctors about it after looking in his ear got some tweezers and pulled out the blue tip at the top of the pen that had come off when he pushed it in.
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  • smiffyboy said:

    They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Fella at work had that problem so he used a bic biro, few days later was struggling to hear from that ear, so went to the doctors about it after looking in his ear got some tweezers and pulled out the blue tip at the top of the pen that had come off when he pushed it in.
    I had a similar experience with an extra large Sharpie. It wasn't my ear that the end got stuck in though..........
  • I had a strawberry stuck in my ear, went to the doctors, he gave me some cream for it.
  • I had custard, cream, jelly and fruit in my ear once and went to the doctor complaining of being a trifle deaf.

    (ok, ok - but @MrOneLung started it!)
  • Another serious thread trivialised by bad jokes




    ;)
  • I cleaned my washing machine out the other day, there were about 20 of these things.......
  • CHG said:

    I cleaned my washing machine out the other day, there were about 20 of these things.......

    I don't think you're supposed to wash you hair in a washing machine - some health and safety reason apparently.
  • MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    How long have you been waiting to use that one
  • since before M&Ms is my guess ;)
  • MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    That doesn't sound like a Picnic
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  • and slightly off topic
  • razil said:

    Another serious thread trivialised by bad jokes




    ;)

    Razil has obviously got his snickers in a twist
  • No idea why but just made me think of him.
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  • MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    How long have you been waiting to use that one
    I bet mronelung is at home reveling in how he introduced that joke into this thread.
  • Forgot I posted that joke.

    Credit goes to DaddyOneLung circa 1982
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