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Stupid answers on Quiz shows

I am sure there was a thread on this before but after looking cant seem to find it

Just seen this:


Anyone else have anymore new ones that are worth a laugh at
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Comments

  • edited December 2014
    Radio quiz.
    Q: How many girls are there in Girls Aloud?
    A: Huh, I think I know this. Is it a trick question? Is it none?
  • Family Fortunes:

    Q. Name something a blind person would have
    A. A sword

    That made me laugh. A f*cking sword! Yeah, if you were Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman you might.

  • years ago my Mrs was on a English language for none English speakers course and they were asked to name something you would put in a salad--an old Chinese guy put "SNAKE" -------of course he could very well be correct but just in case when your having a Chinese tonite best check under that lettuce !
  • Bit long I know, but there are some genuine LOL moments in this one, including a man who seems to love turkeys

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  • A mate from work is superb at quizzes. He knows everything. He's been on tv a few times and says the pressure just gets to you. On one tv quiz they had a warm up, just to get everyone relaxed before they began filming. First question: what is the name given to the day after Christmas?
    Buzz - EASTER!!
  • 15 to 1:

    Q: If you sailed due east from Harwich, what country would be your landfall?

    A: India.
  • Family Feud

    Name an animal which has three letters in it's name

    Response- Alligator
  • Watching tipping point
    Q- What Sandwich Shop launched a sub loyalty card
    A-Mcdonalds
  • Watching tipping point
    Q- What Sandwich Shop launched a sub loyalty card
    A-Mcdonalds

    Pret?
  • Sponsored links:


  • Keohanes?
  • I can’t remember the exact question, it was something like. It was the show where “we asked 100 people.....”

    Q Name an animal with sharp teeth
    A Frog

    Sabre tooth frogs, very dangerous
  • This one was pretty funny

  • bobmunro said:

    I believe it was an old Take Your Pick Show ;-)


    Michael Miles: (John Cleese) And could we have the next contender, please? (a pepperpot walks out onto the set towards Michael Miles) Ha ha ha... Good evening, madam, and your name is?

    Woman: (Terry Jones) Yes, yes.

    Michael Miles: And what's your name?

    Woman: I go to church regularly.

    Michael Miles: Jolly good, I see, and which prize do you have particular eyes on this evening?

    Woman: I'd like the blow on the head.

    Michael Miles: The blow on the head.

    Woman: Just there. (points to the back of her head)

    Michael Miles: Jolly good. Well your first question for the blow on the head this evening is: What great opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of psychological phenomena to physical states?

    Woman: I don't know that!

    Michael Miles: Well, have a guess.

    Woman: Henri Bergson.

    Michael Miles: Is the correct answer!

    Woman: Ooh, that was lucky. I never even heard of him.

    Michael Miles: Jolly good.

    Woman: I don't like darkies.

    Michael Miles: Ha ha ha. Who does? And now your second question for the blow on the head is: What is the main food that penguins eat?

    Woman: Pork luncheon meat.

    Michael Miles: No.

    Woman: Spam?

    Michael Miles: No, no, no. What do penguins eat? Penguins.

    Woman: Penguins?

    Michael Miles: Yes.

    Woman: I hate penguins.

    Michael Miles: No, no, no.

    Woman: They eat themselves.

    Michael Miles: No, no, what do penguins eat?

    Woman: Horses! Armchairs!

    Michael Miles: No, no, no. What do penguins eat?

    Woman: Oh, penguins.

    Michael Miles: Penguins.

    Woman: Cannelloni.

    Michael Miles: No.

    Woman: Lasagna, moussaka, lobster thermidor, escalopes de veau a l'estragon avec endives gratineed with cheese.

    Michael Miles: No, no, no, no. I'll give you a clue. (mimes a fish swimming)

    Woman: Ah! Brian Close.

    Michael Miles: No. no.

    Woman: Brian Inglis, Brian Johnson, Bryan Forbes.

    Michael Miles: No, no!

    Woman: Nanette Newman.

    Michael Miles: No. What swims in the sea and gets caught in nets?

    Woman: Henri Bergson.

    Michael Miles: No.

    Woman: Goats. Underwater goats with snorkels and flippers.

    Michael Miles: No.

    Woman: A buffalo with an aqualung.

    Michael Miles: No.

    Woman: Reginald Maudling.

    Michael Miles: Yes, that's near enough. I'll give you that. Right, now, Mrs Scum, you have won your prize, do you still want the blow on the head?

    Woman: Yes, yes.

    Michael Miles: I'll offer you a poke in the eye.

    Woman: No! I want a blow on the head.

    Michael Miles: A punch in the throat?

    Woman: No.

    Michael Miles: All right then, a kick in the kneecap?

    Woman: No.

    Michael Miles: Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

    Woman: Er...

    Voices: Blow on the head! Take the blow on the head!

    Woman: No, no. I'll take the blow on the head.

    Michael Miles: Very well then, Mrs Scum, you have won tonight's star prize, the blow on the head.

    (He strkes her on head with an enormous mallet and she falls unconscious. A sexily dressed hostess in the background strikes a small gong. The three bishops rush in and jump on her.)


    I've got that on vinyl somewhere in my collection. Not sure, but maybe from Live at Drury Lane.
  • It's Monty Python.
  • On the radio when I was driving....

    Q: how many girls in the band Girls Aloud
    A: is it a trick question? Is it none?

    I had a brief moment where my steering went awry
  • What is the best grade for getting your hair highlighted?

    A. 2
    B. 3
    C. 4
    D. 5
    E. Ask Paulie

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