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New lad @ work - Palace Season ticket holder.

This New lad stated today, turns out he's a Palace fan. Early indications suggest he's a bit cocky, a bit of a know it all and a bit smug.
Three traits that I immediately associate with them over there yes, but I've never had had to share any air with one before. He even had the cheek to turn my Chris Powell cutout mask that is cello-taped to a ruler around so it's facing the wall.

It's his first day and I'm giving him some basic training. The question is what should I do?

1. Be over friendly with him, it's his first day and it's only football. Take him out for lunch and welcome him in to his new job.
2. Keep the training to the basic minimum. Keep it professional, but ultimately be polite.
3. Ignore him in the office, make it clear that you intend not to be friends.
4. Start a rumour that he touched an underage girl that led to him getting sacked from his old job, ultimately ending with him getting the sack.
5. Other.
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Comments

  • Tell everyone he is a Palace fan. That should do it.

  • I'd do number 2 but with the usual training. You're better than him by definition so you don't need to lower yourself.
  • 5. Other. Just be polite and make an effort to get on with him. He supports a rival football team, it's not life threatening.
  • Its only football.
  • edited January 2014
    1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.

    2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel

    3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.

    In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.
  • anonymously leave a tube of Clearasil on his desk before he gets in tomorrow morning
  • Option 4 is probably true so I doubt he will be with you for very long anyway.
  • 4, without question
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  • MrLargo said:

    The Chris Powell mask related behaviour is totally unacceptable for a first day at the office. If he's willing to do that on day one with someone he's only just met

    Agree with this but I'd choose option 2...
  • Hang a palace teddy up by its neck over his desk
  • 4 is cruel. If he wasn't palace. definitely 4
  • If he has a desk phone then put cellotape over the speaker, if you put it on well then he won't notice and all his phone calls will be tortuous.

    Another good one is re-adjusting his office chair every day before he gets in, that drives people nuts.
  • Another good one is re-adjusting his office chair every day before he gets in, that drives people nuts.

    I can vouch for that... Hated it when people used to do it to my chair
  • open him up.
  • Another good one is re-adjusting his office chair every day before he gets in, that drives people nuts.

    I can vouch for that... Hated it when people used to do it to my chair
    I worked at a place here where a full on punch-up broke out over it, absolute crack up because the bloke who was accused of adjusting the chair had nothing to do with it!
  • 5. Other. Just be polite and make an effort to get on with him. He supports a rival football team, it's not life threatening.

    I didn't see an option for 'have a sense of humour bypass'.
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  • 1, with the clear and precise explanation over lunch that if he ever touches your Chris Powell mask again, you will superglue it to his face, and stick the ruler up his arse, sideways...
  • 1. But make him pay for it.
  • SE7toSG3 said:

    1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.

    2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel

    3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.

    In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.

    I work with a Palace fan and I have never, in the entire time I've known him, addressed him as anything other than Nigel
  • I'd do number 2. And smear it all over his desk.
  • Sit on it. Carry on as normal. The CP thing needs sorting, but revenge is a dish best served cold.
  • Whenever you are speaking with him, respond to each of his points with "Ok, Nigel". Do this EVERY time, no exceptions. His name is Nigel.

    Every morning when he comes into the office, ask him how his commute from Surrey was. They hate being told they're not South London.

    Blare some sort of annoying jingle/goal music out of your phone whenever he goes to open his mouth.

    On the 15th of EVERY month, remind him that it is the how-ever-many month anniversary to the day that Charlton relegated them in 2005. Maybe even leave balloons and some decorations at his desk for the celebration each time it comes around.
  • If he's being a dick on his 1st day then he's asking for it.

    5. Keep him under your wing and slowly make his day to day working life hell.
  • You can do any of the things on here, but probably best not to play in front of little kids:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ3PrvhMeE0
  • Oh, and tell him if he ever mentions football again then next time it is a coke can and a cricket bat.
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