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The Random Facebook Status Thread.

Gotta be done after some of the ones I've seen this morning alone. No names, just quotes...

"Oh my god she's f*ckin pathetic" Thats it.....

"Another mad day no doubt, not even had the chance to enjoy my pregnancy" WTF?
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Comments

  • My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"
  • "she got a pussy like the grand canyon.
    dry and sandy.
    possibly filled with dead bodies.
    Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians.
    a popular tourist site.
    Everyone goes there and comes away feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the entire experience."
  • U k Hun? x

    Yes hun, Ill inbox u xx
  • "So it turned out that the new bottle of BBQ sauce had in fact already been opened. I learnt this from the almighty squeeze that covered my hair, face, jumper, settee, and wall.

    Absolute born loser"
  • My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"

    Yesterday someone posted these within 2 hours of each other:

    "I'm fat, old and ugly"

    "Times are hard :( "

    "No money. No sleep. Can't pay bills. Can't pay anything. :( "

    "is still waiting for her knight in shining armour on a white horse to rescue her, knowing her luck she will get a twat in tin foil on a donkey! "

    "Still no money. Pointless selling my body too coz I'd have to pay them!!! "

    "wishes she was more attractive"

    You reckon she wants a bit of attention?
  • "I genuinely thought it was Saturday today... oh dear!"
  • WSS said:

    "So it turned out that the new bottle of BBQ sauce had in fact already been opened. I learnt this from the almighty squeeze that covered my hair, face, jumper, settee, and wall.

    Absolute born loser"

    LOL. Now what kind of fool would do that.

    A big favourite of one needy bird I know is...

    :-(
  • WSS said:

    "So it turned out that the new bottle of BBQ sauce had in fact already been opened. I learnt this from the almighty squeeze that covered my hair, face, jumper, settee, and wall.

    Absolute born loser"

    Ha, what a tool :-)

  • My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"

    Yesterday someone posted these within 2 hours of each other:

    "I'm fat, old and ugly"

    "Times are hard :( "

    "No money. No sleep. Can't pay bills. Can't pay anything. :( "

    "is still waiting for her knight in shining armour on a white horse to rescue her, knowing her luck she will get a twat in tin foil on a donkey! "

    "Still no money. Pointless selling my body too coz I'd have to pay them!!! "

    "wishes she was more attractive"

    You reckon she wants a bit of attention?
    image
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  • Oh babes sendin hugs xxx
  • "There's so many songs out there I no ill love but ain't even heard yet f*ks me off !!!"
  • "I'm absolutely in love with **** ***** I don't care what anyone says I've never been like this over anyone before I filing miss him so much being away from him !!!! Yea we only known each other about a month but when u meet the one u no! N his the one for me xxxxxxx"

    They split up a week after this status
  • "Holy shitballs, my water has just broke!"
  • I have someone who literally weekly will say loves my baby so much cant wait till he gets home, next day ' fuck the lot of you all blah blah blah' rinse repeat. sometimes its new blokes, sometimes its the same one but its always the same and really irritating.

    Hate ones who also say ' grrrr so annoyed' , then people will put are you ok? then no response

    hate fb, twitter all the way much more fun and less depressing!
  • "Can I grow hash in Farmville and sell it in Mafia Wars?"
  • Croydon said:

    "I'm absolutely in love with **** ***** I don't care what anyone says I've never been like this over anyone before I filing miss him so much being away from him !!!! Yea we only known each other about a month but when u meet the one u no! N his the one for me xxxxxxx"

    They split up a week after this status

    Smart move on his behalf.
  • I removed anyone from my feed who posts something annoying. Now all I get is sponsored adverts.
  • Croydon said:

    "There's so many songs out there I no ill love but ain't even heard yet f*ks me off !!!"

    That is genius!!
  • Such a great idea for a thread

    "karma will gt you"

    "Bangin headache and it ain't getting better"
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  • "Holy shitballs, my water has just broke!"

    Is the winner so far IMO. Can genuinely imagine this happening and people wanting to instantly go onto their mobile to put a status up regardless of the importance of the situation!
  • "Alguem pode me dizer como é que se vence a tentação de ficar assistindo a E3 online? Tenho que desligar meu computador. Unico jeito... Boa tarde a todos amigos e CIA."

    or

    "Äkillinen koti-ikävä iski, päätin leipoa pipareita avuksi!"
  • are people really still that hooked on facebook?
  • Those who set up Facebook profiles for their dogs need to have a serious word with themselves.
  • My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"

    Yesterday someone posted these within 2 hours of each other:

    "I'm fat, old and ugly"

    "Times are hard :( "

    "No money. No sleep. Can't pay bills. Can't pay anything. :( "

    "is still waiting for her knight in shining armour on a white horse to rescue her, knowing her luck she will get a twat in tin foil on a donkey! "

    "Still no money. Pointless selling my body too coz I'd have to pay them!!! "

    "wishes she was more attractive"

    You reckon she wants a bit of attention?
    image
    Whats her number? :)

  • WSS said:

    "So it turned out that the new bottle of BBQ sauce had in fact already been opened. I learnt this from the almighty squeeze that covered my hair, face, jumper, settee, and wall.

    Absolute born loser"

    I laughed so hard yesterday when I read that. Just got to love that absolute born loser :)

  • JohnBoyUK said:

    My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"

    Yesterday someone posted these within 2 hours of each other:

    "I'm fat, old and ugly"

    "Times are hard :( "

    "No money. No sleep. Can't pay bills. Can't pay anything. :( "

    "is still waiting for her knight in shining armour on a white horse to rescue her, knowing her luck she will get a twat in tin foil on a donkey! "

    "Still no money. Pointless selling my body too coz I'd have to pay them!!! "

    "wishes she was more attractive"

    You reckon she wants a bit of attention?
    image
    Whats her number? :)

    haha


  • "Stop sending me birthday messages!!!!!! ITS NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!"
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Roland Out!