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Things Women Say!

After thoroughly enjoying the responses on the two threads, In the Doghouse for attending a Charlton Match and the Stupidest Reason for getting the Cold shoulder from your other half, I'm sure 'Things Women Say' could be just as funny!

At the weekend, me and the missus had this conversation...............

Her:- Oh, you haven't had your lamb chops this week!

Me:- I didn't realise you had bought any?

Her:- I haven't!

WTF!


I'll put my thinking cap on for a few more because she is a genious at these sort of conversations.


I'm sure there are some real pearlers you could share, sorry ladies!
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Comments

  • Watching the Synchronised Diving at the Olympics a few years ago, my wife said:
    "I think it's a bit unfair that they make them dive in front of a mirror."
  • How about this one from mine a couple of weeks ago.

    We were down in Brighton for the weekend and looking for somewhere to park.
    We passed the blind servicemans hospital on the way, built on the hill a quarter of a mile inland form the sea.
    We had to turn around and passed it a gain.

    Wife: "What's that building?" (It's written large on a big sign!!)
    Me: "It's the blind veterans centre"
    Wife: " Ooh! - they've got a lovely view"
  • Am sure someone on here said that he was on holiday in The Carribean or Down Under and his girlfriend/wife asked if that was the same moon they could see back home.
  • Me and the missus went to Woburn Safari Park. We were in the 'Australian Walkabout' section. We were walking past the wallabee's and she said

    "I wonder what its like to only have two legs"

    ........
  • Whilst a Mexican Wave is taking place at the Olympics on the TV:

    "I wonder where the first ever Mexican Wave started?"
  • Things women say:
    all men are w*nkers.
  • Curb_It said:

    Things women say:
    all men are w*nkers.

    lol
  • Curb_It said:

    Things women say:
    all men are w*nkers.

    and those that aren't w*nkers are liars........................
  • Playing mini golf with my missus in the summer.

    After she putts a hole in one.

    "oh oh, a hole in one, what's that called?"
    me- "a hole in one"
    her-"yes!, that, what's it called!?"
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  • Her. "Can I come back to you but still have sex with my new boyfriend"
    Me. "You'd be having an affair and I'd be a laughing stock"
    Her. "Oh yeah, I see what you mean"

    And she calls herself intelligent!
  • Obviously a while ago, on a boys day out we went to the Derby trials at Lingfield. The following day my mate said to his wife, you should have seen the size of Shergar's cock all the old girls were swooning. She looked at him and said, how old is your mate Shergar.
  • edited May 2013
    "have you got any spare pockets"

    "yea, why"

    "you can carry a couple of my tampons in them so I don't have to take my bag"
  • Perhaps those of you who have chosen to be with women who make silly comments should look at themselves. Perhaps you haven't chosen very well!
  • tom- k said:

    Playing mini golf with my missus in the summer.

    After she putts a hole in one.

    "oh oh, a hole in one, what's that called?"
    me- "a hole in one"
    her-"yes!, that, what's it called!?"

    Well technically a hole in one on a par 3 would be an Eagle, whilst a hole in one on a par 4 would be an Albatross. It being mini-golf, it's possible the hole was only a par two and therefore a hole in one would be a Birdie.

    So question not a stupid as it seems, possibly.

  • Got my missus to phone the church on Xmas Eve and ask what time Midnight Mass started.
  • My wife, who I met when we were 14 (now 44) so knows my day job as a military historian,
    "where shall I meet you, somewhere central then we can catch the bus home together" - her answer "how about Napoleons column in Trafalgar Square!"
    My favourite was on holiday a few years ago in Verona, when the Italian fellah on reception bid us good evening in his best English, Ali attempting to reply in in Italian proudly blurted out "Beunos Aires"
  • I, quite sadly, had to think about the Napoleon's column comment for a minute thinking what was wrong with it.
  • Curb_It said:

    I, quite sadly, had to think about the Napoleon's column comment for a minute thinking what was wrong with it.

    you thought it was in Piccadilly Circus ?

  • Curb_It said:

    I, quite sadly, had to think about the Napoleon's column comment for a minute thinking what was wrong with it.

    you thought it was in Piccadilly Circus ?

    Your thinking of the Statue of Eros one of The Three Musketeers.
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  • My missus the other month "i wanna paint the room mongolia" so when i told her that was a country and not a colour she refused to believe me
  • maybe that is where she is hoping you're move to

  • Ormiston AddickMember

    Got my missus to phone the church on Xmas Eve and ask what time Midnight Mass started.

    I hope you enjoyed your Christmas Lunch sandwich !
  • Granpa said:


    Ormiston AddickMember

    Got my missus to phone the church on Xmas Eve and ask what time Midnight Mass started.

    I hope you enjoyed your Christmas Lunch sandwich !

    She actually asked me, "What time does Midnight Mass start?"

    Me (sarcastically): Why don't you call the church and ask the Priest?"

    Next thing I know she was on the blower, so she could have complaints!

    The funny thing was it started at 11.30!
  • cafctom said:

    Whilst a Mexican Wave is taking place at the Olympics on the TV:
    "I wonder where the first ever Mexican Wave started?"

    Sorry but it started in The USA and was copied at the 1986 world cup!



  • tom- k said:

    Playing mini golf with my missus in the summer.

    After she putts a hole in one.

    "oh oh, a hole in one, what's that called?"
    me- "a hole in one"
    her-"yes!, that, what's it called!?"

    Well technically a hole in one on a par 3 would be an Eagle, whilst a hole in one on a par 4 would be an Albatross. It being mini-golf, it's possible the hole was only a par two and therefore a hole in one would be a Birdie.

    So question not a stupid as it seems, possibly.

    Or an Ace
  • Perhaps those of you who have chosen to be with women who make silly comments should look at themselves. Perhaps you haven't chosen very well!

    Spot on...but conscience can often be a deciding factor.

  • MrOneLung said:

    Am sure someone on here said that he was on holiday in The Carribean or Down Under and his girlfriend/wife asked if that was the same moon they could see back home.

    That was my ex wife in Corfu 1994
  • Perhaps those of you who have chosen to be with women who make silly comments should look at themselves. Perhaps you haven't chosen very well!

    Spot on...but big tits can often be a deciding factor.

  • "Pull my nightie down when you've finished"
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