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Road Rage story

Just experienced an amusing road rage incident. A relatively minor altercation over road etiquette with a Merc driven by a maniac. After the usual exchange of hand signals the driver pulled up in front of me at the lights and all 6' 6" of him jumped out of his car with steam coming from his ears threatening to tear me apart. I wound down the window rather than have it smashed in and prepared for a physical exchange from the safety of my seat. He wound up to throw a punch and I saw his eyes dart towards the passenger seat as I tried to remember what part of my green belt kata covered this particular attack. He then stepped back and just said "You're a disgrace..." three times as he moved slowly backwards to his car and got in.

I then realised what he'd seen. I was on my way back from a local tree surgeon store where I'd just bought a 15" bill hook machete that I'd unwrapped to check how sharp it was and it was just laying across the seat.

Comments

  • He was scared of your chopper?
  • I once saw a similar incident where a chap wound his window down...and then got battered through the open window. It's very hard to defend yourself like that.
  • Just experienced an amusing road rage incident. A relatively minor altercation over road etiquette with a Merc driven by a maniac. After the usual exchange of hand signals the driver pulled up in front of me at the lights and all 6' 6" of him jumped out of his car with steam coming from his ears threatening to tear me apart. I wound down the window rather than have it smashed in and prepared for a physical exchange from the safety of my seat. He wound up to throw a punch and I saw his eyes dart towards the passenger seat as I tried to remember what part of my green belt kata covered this particular attack. He then stepped back and just said "You're a disgrace..." three times as he moved slowly backwards to his car and got in.

    I then realised what he'd seen. I was on my way back from a local tree surgeon store where I'd just bought a 15" bill hook machete that I'd unwrapped to check how sharp it was and it was just laying across the seat.

    You sound like a badass
  • Was hoping for a "...then I hacked his leg off LOL" ending.
  • edited April 2013
    Just dont do what my friend did...make sure the window is fully wound down first...

    image

    Bloke driving whilst using a mobile cut him up on his bike so he sprinted after him to give him a piece of his mind at the traffic lights only to think the blokes window was open. 4 broken knuckles, 2 severed ligaments and 6 months of physiotherapy later...ooops.
  • edited April 2013
    The moral of the story is...never go anywhere without a 15" machete. Bet he felt 6.6 inches are seeing that!
  • D_F_T said:

    He was scared of your chopper?

    At least he didn't laugh at my chopper - not like my wife.


  • edited April 2013
    One of my childhood memories was of my dad driving through Peckham with myself and younger brother in the back seat of the Viva on a Sunday morning. He had got into a road rage situation that had reached a crescendo as we hit the lights at the bus garage which had just turned red. Both cars stopped, my Dad in front and we looked around out of the back window to see this huge black fella jump out of the car behind and he was not happy. It being summer and the drivers window being open, my old man must of checked the size of the bloke in his rear view mirror and decided that for his own safety he should rather frantically wind the window up. As he was doing so a huge black fist thrust itself through the gap and got caught as Dad carried on furiously winding. This made the bloke even more mad as he tried to retrieve his arm and much to our delight, his huge gold coloured watch dropped off his wrist into my Dads lap as he got his arm back, the lights went green and we sped off. I remember looking out of the back window at this bloke furiously jumping up and down. Not a word from the old man though as we jumped the next five sets of lights on the way home.
  • Best one I had was west bound at the World of Leather roundabout. I was in the middle lane heading straight on, the pratt in the left hand (left only) lane also decided to go straight on, so I was forced to move right, into the path of the bloke in the right hand lane. He leant on the horn all the way until I got back on the dual carriageway, then drove right up my arse (oh-err) for about 100m before overtaking and sweeping in front of me with about three inches to spare.

    He had a brand new Jag. I had a £50 fiesta that was about five different colours and the drivers window was held up with a bit of four-by-two. Oh how I wished he had hit me...
  • Had a situation up in central london a few years ago. A car had parked up and as I was passing him, he just flung his door open forcing me to slam on the brakes. I shouted a few choice words towards him (along with the odd hand signal) and he lept out of his car...........Jesus, this guy was at least 6'8 and 5ft wide. Needless to say (being the brave bloke I am) I put my foot down, only to see him sprinting down the road behind me. The next obstacle to overcome was the set of lights just in front of me were just about to change to red. I didn't fancy this guy turning me into John Merrick, so I jumped the light. Looking at the size of the freak guy, this was probably more roid rage than road rage...........
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  • I've been driving for 50 years and never had anyone rage at me, which is a miracle as I drive very slowly.
  • A good story I heard occurred on a narrow street with cars parked on one side and only enough room for one car to get through. Two cars faced each other with both refusing to back up. Driver 1 got out of his car and started remonstrating with Driver 2 but Driver 2 was having none of it. Driver 1 got back into his car effing and blinding, put the car in reverse and accelerated as fast as he could, but in his temper ploughed into two parked cars. Now he looked stupid and was even more angry. Driver 2 backed up and performed a three point turn as Driver 1 turned crimson.
  • I've had a couple of rows (years ago, when I was even more of an arsehole than I am now). Neither of them have come to much other than shouting abuse and shoving - but I once got cut up by someone coming through Streatham and jumped out to confront him. The bloke wound his window down and I thought better of it - not because he was huge, not because he had a weapon - but because I was literally staring into the cold, dead eyes of a killer. Seriously - this bloke was absolutely frightening looking. I muttered something about him being more careful and backed the fuck away like a proper coward.
  • I had a problem in Portugal a while back. This young guy jumped out of his car and started towards me swearing (I think) and gesticulating, I got out of my (hired) car and shouted 'Watch out mush, I'm English' .. he turned round, got back in his car and drove off
  • Bloke from my primary school got in road rage. Got stabbed dead for cutting someone up/ being cut up.

    Tragic and so pointless over something that could be forgotten 5 minutes later.

    Does my nut in when my missus gets lairy in the motor as i remind her that it wont be her getting out the car to have it out. People turn into johnny rambos behind the wheel almost as much as behind a keyboard.
  • Bloke from my primary school got in road rage. Got stabbed dead for cutting someone up/ being cut up.

    Tragic and so pointless over something that could be forgotten 5 minutes later.

    Does my nut in when my missus gets lairy in the motor as i remind her that it wont be her getting out the car to have it out. People turn into johnny rambos behind the wheel almost as much as behind a keyboard.

    At last, someone who can replace testosterone with logic.

  • I was trying to exit Sainsbury's car park this week. Some stupid bint parked right across the exit a second before I got there. Someone got out & walked off & I gave her another 20 seconds before tooting.
    She gave me a right mouthful, middle finger, the lot, which I returned.
    WTF - you're parked across a car park exit you moron !
  • edited April 2013

    I was trying to exit Sainsbury's car park this week. Some stupid bint parked right across the exit a second before I got there. Someone got out & walked off & I gave her another 20 seconds before tooting.
    She gave me a right mouthful, middle finger, the lot, which I returned.

    That escalated quickly you lucky sod ;-) Should be on the dogging thread.
  • Driving up from Bell Green a few years back I stopped by a red light by The Alfred/Kent House road. Lights changed to green and off I drove up Sydenham Road when some pr*tt shot up the inside and cut in instead of turning left. 200 yards up the road we came to a standstill at the pedestrian crossing, so I got out of the van to have " a word" with this idiot. Got to the drivers window to see Nigel Benn glaring at me. Walked back to van and took the first left even though I needed to go straight on.

  • Coward
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  • Driving up from Bell Green a few years back I stopped by a red light by The Alfred/Kent House road. Lights changed to green and off I drove up Sydenham Road when some pr*tt shot up the inside and cut in instead of turning left. 200 yards up the road we came to a standstill at the pedestrian crossing, so I got out of the van to have " a word" with this idiot. Got to the drivers window to see Nigel Benn glaring at me. Walked back to van and took the first left even though I needed to go straight on.

    I reckon you should have fronted him.

    I'm sure he would have bottled it!

  • Mine was pretty surreal. Was filtering alongside stationary traffic in Academy Rd. Some chump turned out of the traffic and wiped me out. Whilst I laid on the floor with 4 broken ribs, a broken collar bone and a dislocated knee, I watched a bloke grab the offending driver, drag him out and punch him 3-4 times before pinning him down till the OB and ambulance turned up. To this day I have no idea who he was.
  • I was driving on the m25 doing just above the speed limit, quite happy going along at what I considered a safe speed and passing all the traffic in the middle lane. A Ford Fiesta comes very close and after a while he decides to flash his lights at me, now I'm all for letting others past if they wish to go faster but I felt this was not practical as I would have struggled to get back into the fast lane due to the amount of traffic.

    So I ignored him and carried on. I had a passenger in the car at the time and she observed this guy behind getting all irate, he started flashing his lights again and gesturing at me. Being mature I gave him the middle finger.

    Finally the traffic eased off in the middle lane as we were approaching the junction of the M1 and I pulled over the let him through, the guy was huge. Not in a healthy way.

    Anyway, he went on and I carried on at a more sensible speed.

    As always on motorways there are roadworks and the fast lane was to crossover to the over carriage way, I had a discussion with my passenger whether I should go in that lane or stick to the the other two as I had previously done this a car had broken down and I was stuck in traffic for a while. As I go to enter the contraflow the traffic comes to a halt, a car ahead gets out moves some cones and we enter the other side.

    Up ahead there was an accident, and who was stuck behind the cars involved? Yep Mr I want to get past. So as I approached I tooted the horn and waved at the driver whilst laughing.

    =====

    I've also had an incident on the A2 at the junction for Charlton, I had waited patiently in the traffic but a another drive decides he wants to cut in at the last moment. I did not let him in and he used his horn and I swore back, his then younger passenger proceeded to get out of the car and offer me out. My friend who was in the car at the time wanted to get out and deal with him but I told him not too as it's not worth it.

    I don't get how people who are in the wrong can be some bullish? If I make a mistake on the road I'm the first to stick my hand up to apologise and the situation is normally fine. We are human and we make mistakes, but some think it's ok to drive like pricks and think they are better than anyone else and when someone criticise's them they want to big the big man?

    People really need to grow up, there are more important things in life.
  • The reason they're bullish despite being in the wrong is, basically, that they're arseholes.
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