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Les Dennis

135

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    PlaaayerPlaaayer
    I gave Jim Davisons missus a good shoeing a few years back, well if it's good enough for him.......
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    BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
    I had some fella call me a cheapskate in the boozer the other night, so I threw his drink over him!!! Ffs
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    Saga LoutSaga Lout
    I had to lamp Jim Bowen once when he caught my in bed with the twins and told me I'd get nothing for 2 in a bed.
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    AddicktedAddickted
    Dropped Dimbleby with a head butt.

    He won't ask me that question again.
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    AlgarveaddickAlgarveaddick
    I once had to dig Charlie Chester in the mooey after he said "knicker elastic" in front of my great aunt.

    He wasn't nearly so cheerful after that, I can tell you.
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    MacronateMacronate
    caught Humpty Dumpty shoplifting during my time as a store detective. he put up a fight initially but his bravado turned out to be a yolk. when we got him back to the interview room he soon cracked
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    EastStandEastStand
    I think this is one of my favourite threads of all time.
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    DaveMehmetDaveMehmet
    caught Humpty Dumpty shoplifting during my time as a store detective. he put up a fight initially but his bravado turned out to be a yolk. when we got him back to the interview room he soon cracked
    I heard he had drug problems, he was probably scrambled at the time
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    bigstemarrabigstemarra
    Kicked that bastard Godfrey (off of Dad's Army) in the mush once - you should have seen his teeth flying out! Mug.

    He'll have a right job trying to eat one of his sister Dolly's upside-down cakes after that!

    That'll teach him to give it the biggun about his 'weak bladder' and asking to be excused from parade duty so he can have a gipsy's kiss, language like that in front of the Vicar AND the Verger.....men of the cloth! The man is scum.

    Mind you, I had to scapa afterwards coz Corporal Jones came looking for me with his bayonet fixed and things were about to get pwopa nawty as Mainwaring had had a few and striped Sgt Wilson with a home made shank (there was a war on, after all)....good job I made a beeline for a nearby buddlia like a V2 rocket.

    Got a bit of a scratching of Private Frazier into the bargain. If I ever see that melt again he is DOOMED.
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    bucksheebuckshee
    I threw empty cans and food wrappers from the disabled bit of the north upper onto some herbert
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    nollynolly
    Nice one Buckshee
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    rikofoldrikofold
    Once had to slap Jilly Goolden at a wine tasting. Claret everywhere.
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    Penfolds PermPenfolds Perm
    Once caught my Mrs sitting on Pinocchio's face.

    I thought '' He's lying again ''
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    gilbertfilbertgilbertfilbert
    Once caught my Mrs sitting on Pinocchio's face.

    I thought '' He's lying again ''
    No, he was going lie, truth, lie, truth...
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    O-Randy-HuntO-Randy-Hunt
    edited March 2012
    I got punched by michael winner about a year ago. I only told him to calm down dear
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    DaveMehmetDaveMehmet
    Matt willis was giving it large in a club a couple of years ago. Busted him good and proper.
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    redcarterredcarter
    I once had a tear up with Winston Churchill over some tinned fruit. I thought I'll fight em for the peaches...
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    AddickUpNorthAddickUpNorth
    Danny Dyer launched into me a while ago with a right load of wideboy verbals. Was a bit scared at first then it clicked - it's Danny Dyer ffs. So I laughed in his face and he skulked away sobbing.
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    SwerveSwerve
    Punched Russ Abbott at The Valley last week. He kept going on about the atmosphere.
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    AddickUpNorthAddickUpNorth
    Punched Russ Abbott at The Valley last week. He kept going on about the atmosphere.
    Like it.
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    Six-a-bag-of-nutsSix-a-bag-of-nuts
    Poleaxed Billy Cotton in my youth then bent down to his ear and shouted wakey wayyyykeeeee
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    hoof_it_up_to_bentyhoof_it_up_to_benty
    Saw this red red robin keep bobbing round my garden - I shot it.
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    SoundAsa£SoundAsa£
    Saw this red red robin keep bobbing round my garden - I shot it.
    Ooooooh............. a bit near the mark that one hoof it!!!!

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    Pelham123Pelham123
    edited March 2012
    The late Jimmy Saville once queue jumped me in a chipoil in Salford. Decked him like an old lady in the snow with a well aimed pickled egg. The fall snapped his cigar in two. Put some manners on him. Told him straight 'try fixing that Jimbo'.
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    BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
    Matt willis was giving it large in a club a couple of years ago. Busted him good and proper.
    Weren't he in Mcfly? ;-)
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    thewolfboythewolfboy
    David Walliams gave me a hard time in the Travel Shop. He said, "the computer says No." Picked him up, twirled him around and flung him through the window. Last seen swimming down the river. Twat.
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    RobRob
    I once met Jim Bowen as I was coming out of the gents in my local boozer. I politely asked him what he was doing there and he just laid into me. Bully.
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    OaksterOakster
    i was on the receiving end when Jimmy Hill got pwoper nawty the other day.

    Sly old sod chinned me :(
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    Rufus_AmbitionRufus_Ambition
    I Hi-de-Hit Paul Shane in the chops when he called me a "soft southern p**f".
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    March51March51
    Regan once told me 'You're nicked'. I told him to put his trousers on.
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