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Sunday Morning Headlines...

WSSWSS
edited February 2007 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
This was good last time:

COCKNEYS COCK UP

Charlton enhanced their chances of staying up by thrashing West Ham 4-1. Two West Ham players managed to score own goals condemming the East End club to an inevitable season in the Championship next season.

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    Smoke over troubled Cockneys


    Pardew's inspired substitution of MCS for Romm saw Charlton lead the high life as his only three telling touches all landed on the returning Darren Bent's head for a hat-trick in a 3 - 0 win as the Hammers make a hash of their relegation fight.
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    Knees Up Mother DOWN

    West Ham's season now appears in turmoil, having lost the crucial relegation decider versus near neighbours Charlton. Though most neutrals would of expected Alan Pardew to be the happier manager, it was rival Curbishley who came away the happier man, having won £750 in Charlton's half-time Valley Gold draw.
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    edited February 2007
    Bent & Bent Hammer Hammers

    A goal apiece for Marcus Bent & Darren Bent consigned West Ham to a 2-0 defeat at The Valley, which saw them slip to bottom of the Premier League after Watford's last gasp winner over Wigan.

    PS AFKA yours is fantastic!
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    Boelyn crowd demand beheading

    Curbishley may well of left the Valley like Royalty to his former followers, but supporters of his current club West Ham demanded his sacking following this humiliating defeat against the relegation rivals.
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    this really is your forte Bart!
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    CURBS IN BUBBLE TROUBLE!

    Alan Curbishley is fighting for his job today as his unhappy Hammers went down to local rivals 4-0 at the Valley yesterday.
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    Future Curbed at Upton Lark

    West Ham's future appeared in crisis following this disasterous defeat at Charlton.

    The day started terribly for Curbishley, who on his first visit to his old club, automatically went to the wrong dug out at the start of the game. Matters turned more farcical for the ex-England hopeful when he tried to substitute West Ham's two flair players, Tevez and Benyoum, for Brian Hughes and Radostin Kishishev, completely forgetting they were at the disposal of his opposite manager.
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    edited February 2007
    [cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]Future Curbed at Upton Lark

    West Ham's future appeared in crisis following this disasterous defeat at Charlton.

    The day started terribly for Curbishley, who on his first visit to his old club, automatically went to the wrong dug out at the start of the game. Matters turned more farcical for the ex-England hopeful when he tried to substitute West Ham's two flair players, Tevez and Benyoum, for Brian Hughes and Radostin Kishishev, completely forgetting they were at the disposal of his opposite manager.

    I bet everyones looking at you in your office. You must have tears rolling down your cheeks as you piss yourself laughing at these efforts.
    Keep 'em coming.
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    Egg Off His Face

    Eggert Magnusson was seen drowning his sorrows during West Ham's sorry performance at the Valley yesterday. As the eggman watched his team slump to yet another low he was seen taking numerous nips from a hip flask. A spokesman claimed it was extract of Minke Whale and not Icelandic Vodka.
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    very good all you lot! lol
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    Taking the Biscuit to new extremes

    Following numerous attempts to unsettle their relegation rivals in the past weeks, Charlton's key members replied in unorthodox fashion to the Icelandic biscuit magnate at The Valley.
    Whilst it was thoroughly believable that striker Darren Bent would score the winner against sorry West Ham, what was not expected at the final whistle was the manager Magnusson sacked, Alan Pardew, climbing rows of seats Pat Cash-style, ripping the trousers off the elderly West ham chairman, before attempting to launch a pack of chocolate Hob Nobs up his backside, screaming 'now you know how it feels, Egghead'
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    Curbs driven to Rehab ( in a baby bentley )

    Curbishleys return to SE7 has left his multi-million pound squad bottom of the table , after plucky Charlton won this relegation 6 pointer 3-0 . Goals from the hammers january transfer target Kishishev (2) and rising star Lisbie all but confirmed the sorry east london side to championship football next season . Curbs was unavaliable for comment last night but his agent Mervyn Day confirmed he has been admitted to the Priory for depression and addiction to 4-5-1 football
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    edited February 2007
    HASSLE FOR CURBS

    Alan Curbishley was sensationly arrested yesterday at his once beloved valley for giving a two finger salute to the North stand! The day had started so well for him as his "beloved" westham took the lead against the run of play and he decided to do a right old cockney knees up along the touch line but it all went wrong in the second half as along with Days advice he decided to go 5 5 0 and Charlton took full advantage with a wonder strike from Darren Bent and then a last minute winner from supersub Hasslebank. The future is not looking good for Curbs and egghead has to decide his next move but at least he knows Les Reed is available.
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    Curb Your Enthusiasm

    Alan Curbishley's return to SE7 lasted lees than five minutes yesterday. Following Charlton's early goal he leapt from his seat in the directors box and stormed down the pitchside to remonstrate with his team. Unfortunately he only made it three rows before he tripped. Curbishley slid a few more steps before a steward grabbed his leg and administered first aid. He is currently recovery from emergency surgery to remove bits of yellow painted concrete from his chin.
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    edited February 2007
    Alan Curbs Mills Excitement

    Alan Curbishley was today desperately trying to dampen down West Ham fans' excitement at Andrew Mills joining the Club. Speculation immediately linking Djimi Traore, Omar Pouso and Gonzalo Sorondo to the Club caused fans to swamp the Upton Park switchboard with requests ranging from shirt sponsorship to the availability of headbands to purchase. Curbs tried to quell the euphoria by insisting that before the Club could even contemplate signing such high profile players their top-flight status has to be maintained.
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    A bit too many counting of unhatched chickens going on here for my nervous disposition - dead funny though!
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    I;ll balance it out seeing as the club seriously disrupted my momentum with their announcement

    Curbs costs old pal Murray a Mint

    Charlton look to be heading for serious financial trouble after old favourite Curbishley condemned them to near certain relegation.

    Missing out on the new Premiership pay deal with hit Charlton's masses of internet geek fans the most, with much of the expected windfall ear-marked for providing a website that doesn't crash when more than 3 small children are trying to access it....
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    Hello Everyone, I'll add my 'why charlton' story soon, but I saw this thread and could resist!

    'Egg Crushed By Falling Hammers'

    or

    'Egg Scrambles For Cover'

    .. As fans turn on new regime

    or

    'Egg Shells Out But Under Par, Charlton Deliver Hammer Blow'

    *head explodes*

    I agree with Weegie Addick about unhatched chickens btw
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    welcome to the site HB,

    some of those suggestions were EGGSellent :-)
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    ONE i DON'T HOPE WE EVER SEE :

    Egg Poaches Bent.
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    Thanks AFKA

    Thinking those headlines up has left my brain feeling pretty FRIED

    Although perhaps my ideas have been BEATEN by Large ;-)


    Alright, I'll stop it now!
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    Iff you want to talk anymore about EGGS, BENEDICT Hayes is your man
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    Eggsultations to you AFKA!

    You are on fire today!
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    Hell-Bent on Survival

    After scoring the first Charlton hat-trick since promising youngster Kevin Lisbie, Darren Bent confessed to the nations media the hell he has been going through in the last few months.

    'Its been sheer hell. I felt so alone, and lost full confidence in my ability. I'm not big-headed, but i know i have some ability, so why did this have to happen to me. It could of happened to any Premiership player, but i was the unlucky one. Fortunately the bid was rejected, but being linked with West Ham is something i never hope to go through again. o top it all, i was injured as well'.
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    CURBS CRAWLS CHAMPIONSHIPWARD

    Alan Curbishley looked a beaten man yesterday following Charlton's comprehensive 2-0 victory over the Hammers.

    "These were not my players and I could only do so much in a short window" said Curbishley after the game. "Credit to Pards today but there may yet be a few more twists and turns."

    Keith Peacock, Hammers assistant manager, and former Charlton player and backroom staff for over 30 years refused to comment.
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