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Whatever happened to good old manners, courtesy and respect ?

I had cause to accompany my 78 year old mum to Guys Hospital this morning making the journey by tube from North Greewich station. Service was good and train not packed but seats all taken. Now everyone could see that my mum is a little old lady that would have been far more comfortable and less likely to be buffeted by the journey if she had a seat. That much to me is obvious. Of the fourteen seats in our section I estimate two were taken by persons over sixty. The remaining twelve by ages which I estimate averaged mid thirties ish and of both sexes. Not one of the twelve offered the seat to my mum the old dear. I offer my seat regularly to anyone who I consider in more need of being seated than I do. Am I just that bloody old fashioned to expect this act of what I consider common courtesy or have we finally sunk that low. I suspect the latter but am still very very disappointed.
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Comments

  • I'm afraid if you commute regularly you will see that this is not unusual. My wife is pregnant at the moment and had to stand all the way home the other night despite having a prominent "BABY ON BOARD" badge on her coat.
  • It`s without doubt the latter. All of the good things we knew are gone forever and they are never coming back. God only knows what this country will be like in another 10-20 years!!
  • E-cafc said:

    It`s without doubt the latter. All of the good things we knew are gone forever and they are never coming back. God only knows what this country will be like in another 10-20 years!!

    I think that might be a tiny bit dramatic.
  • Rizzo said:

    I'm afraid if you commute regularly you will see that this is not unusual. My wife is pregnant at the moment and had to stand all the way home the other night despite having a prominent "BABY ON BOARD" badge on her coat.

    How far along is your wife? Does she need to wear such a badge to prove that she is pregnant?

  • A decade ago I was on an underground train in Hungary. Sitting opposite me were four rather terrifying skinheads who looked like they would kill their mother for a fish and chip supper.

    Next stop an elderly couple got on and I kid you not they all simultaneously got up and offered they seat.

    When I mentioned this to my cousin he laughed and said the Hungarians hadn't had their freedom for that long and consequently hadn't learnt to abuse it - yet!
  • E-cafc said:

    It`s without doubt the latter. All of the good things we knew are gone forever and they are never coming back. God only knows what this country will be like in another 10-20 years!!

    Ha ha, I blame the liberals!
  • Bloody Tony Blair etc
  • Curb_It said:

    Rizzo said:

    I'm afraid if you commute regularly you will see that this is not unusual. My wife is pregnant at the moment and had to stand all the way home the other night despite having a prominent "BABY ON BOARD" badge on her coat.

    How far along is your wife? Does she need to wear such a badge to prove that she is pregnant?

    She's 5 months gone so she's definitely showing.

  • Or just looks a bit pot bellied?

    Baby on board so you must give up your seat for me? People might not have seen it anyway, and she's only 5 months... you'll find once she hits 7 months she will get a seat constantly.
  • I think a lot of these things are symptoms of cramped depersonalised modern living, commuting be a prime example. It promotes the attidude of head down leave me alone I've got a seat type syndrome. We suffer a lot in the country as we are cramped, I wonder what its like in Tokyo although perhaps a more traditional society like theirs has a different impact?
  • Good old manners, courtesy and respect were all recently sold on ebay to the highest bidder - such are the times we live in
  • Similar situation when the wife was pregnant (and she was using the bus all the way to the 8th month). Annoys me when parents getting on a bus with a pram (some of these prams are the size of tanks) loaded with shopping bags and then proceeding to take up the whole disabled area so that other parents can't even get on the bus. First of all we bought a cheap smaller buggy for the buses and then the minute my youngest was able to walk we left the buggy at home. Queuing has also disappeared. I always give up my seat.
  • Curb_It said:

    Or just looks a bit pot bellied?

    Baby on board so you must give up your seat for me? People might not have seen it anyway, and she's only 5 months... you'll find once she hits 7 months she will get a seat constantly.

    People would have seen it but sadly these days they pretend otherwise and just sit there in their own selfish little world.

  • i watched a young lad of about 10 trying to whack his mate of about 12 in the nuts on the bus the other day, all whilst he was still seated in front of an old chap of 80 who stood by front him getting pushed about.

    I got him by the ear and booted him off the bus.

    im up in court next tuesday.
  • Whatever happened to good old manners, courtesy and respect ?

    They have become the preserve of middle class tossers rather than everybody it would seem and are perceived as a sign of weakness.
  • razil said:

    I think a lot of these things are symptoms of cramped depersonalised modern living, commuting be a prime example. It promotes the attidude of head down leave me alone I've got a seat type syndrome. We suffer a lot in the country as we are cramped, I wonder what its like in Tokyo although perhaps a more traditional society like theirs has a different impact?

    A friend of mine is seeing a Japanese girl at the moment and she always moans that on our underground we don't move away from the door and down the carriage, everyone just stands blocking the doorway, she has a point!

  • Curb_It said:

    i watched a young lad of about 10 trying to whack his mate of about 12 in the nuts on the bus the other day, all whilst he was still seated in front of an old chap of 80 who stood by front him getting pushed about.

    I got him by the ear and booted him off the bus.

    im up in court next tuesday.

    Poor old fella, you could have had a go at the kids though!
  • Maybe there are more of us middle-class tossers down my way, but the picture is not as bleak as some paint here (which does not mean it's perfect, or that I'm doubting SHGuru's experience). On the trains & buses I use, yes there is a degree of nervousness regarding women in the early stages of pregnancy, but once it's obvious you generally see a seat offered quite quickly.

    But people are wrapped up in their own worlds. You could say that's selfishness, but if someone is reading, game playing or whatever, is it such a crime?

    The solution (which I've seen work just fine) is maybe to ask politely "would anyone be able to give up a seat for me/my mother". That soon 'shames' someone in to shifting. Of course it would be better not to have to ask, but the problem gets solved quickly at least without any lingering bad feeling
  • SHG Totally agree with you. Trouble is these days on public transport, the vast majority spend so much time staring into their bloody mobiles, whilst their ears are plugged up with some listening device most of 'em wouldn't notice if Aretha Franklin got on and started singing "Valley Floyd Road" backed by Booker T and the MG's.
  • I felt embarrassed for those just sitting there.
  • Two things really, first of all good manners in this Country are not taught as they were in my day, just as bad language has become offensive along with deteriorating standards everywhere. Secondly rush hour travel is like that every day, and people only think of themselves. I regularly give thanks for being at this end of my life.
  • I was on a train involved in an incident which resulted in the train being stopped outside of the station. After a while we were told to get off. It was a big drop down to trackside. Imagine how grateful I was when the young lady in front of me helped me get off. Imagine how upset I was later that evening when I realised that she did that because she thought I was an old man!!!!
  • If the cap fits ;0)

  • I had cause to accompany my 78 year old mum to Guys Hospital this morning making the journey by tube from North Greewich station. Service was good and train not packed but seats all taken. Now everyone could see that my mum is a little old lady that would have been far more comfortable and less likely to be buffeted by the journey if she had a seat. That much to me is obvious. Of the fourteen seats in our section I estimate two were taken by persons over sixty. The remaining twelve by ages which I estimate averaged mid thirties ish and of both sexes. Not one of the twelve offered the seat to my mum the old dear. I offer my seat regularly to anyone who I consider in more need of being seated than I do. Am I just that bloody old fashioned to expect this act of what I consider common courtesy or have we finally sunk that low. I suspect the latter but am still very very disappointed.

    Well come to 2012 travel club --- and the next generation of travellers -- some dont give a F**k about others once they get a seat i witnessed two men fight over a seat one evening on the way home from work -- yet there was another seat free just a little way up the train when they started scrapping and both in mid to late 40s - w**kers

    Golden rules always give your seat up to a Pregnant lady and for any lady or gentlem who needs it more --simples perhaps BR and the Underground should advertise that.

    got to go and get me train now !!!!!!!!!!!!!



  • I remember a few years back a female colleague coming into the office very upset. It turned out somebody had offered her their seat thinking she was pregnant when she wasn't.

    But I do agree that it is a sign that people are generally so wrapped up in their personal space and in a bubble they are just not aware of what is going on. It is really sad and depressing.
  • But I do agree that it is a sign that people are generally so wrapped up in their personal space and in a bubble they are just not aware of what is going on. It is really sad and depressing.


    Or just ignorant gits ?
  • Unfortunately a sign of the times SHG. Easier said than done I know but I think I might have asked anyone sitting in the elderly / disabled seats if their need was that great failing which asked the youngest person if they wouldn't mind giving their seat up. My late father had arthritus in his knees and because he had a walking stick he was more often than not offered a seat on public transport.
  • I always give up my seat
  • Rizzo said:

    I'm afraid if you commute regularly you will see that this is not unusual. My wife is pregnant at the moment and had to stand all the way home the other night despite having a prominent "BABY ON BOARD" badge on her coat.

    I wear one of those, helps me get a seat in the Liberal club on match days ; )

  • It's not the badge that gets you that seat mate, it's your age.
  • I bet some of you lot moaning about 'courtesy and respect' are the ones who dont even say thank you when they get offered a seat :)
  • I always offer my seat to a lady as long as im still allowed to sit in it
  • Smithy said:

    I bet some of you lot moaning about 'courtesy and respect' are the ones who dont even say thank you when they get offered a seat :)

    Whooosh!
  • The bad thing is that most people are very aware whats going on, They just don't give a #### about anyone else aslong as they're seated.

    Most people bitd would've been brought up with the 'respect your elders' drummed into them whether it's offering seats or what.

    TBH Though, I do prefer to stand infront of the seats questioning people whether there sister is there mother and there father is indeed their brother! ;-)
  • Plaaayer said:

    It's not the badge that gets you that seat mate, it's your age.

    That is what has happened to respect, Dave storry fought in two wars so you could say that! ; )

  • sometimes bein the gentleman can get you into trouble though. offering your seat the fat bird cos she looks 8 months in.

    ''Im not pregnant''
  • Well, if you expect it you are going to be repeatedly disappointed. If you don't you will occasionally be pleasantly surprised.

    "Young people: Pissing off older people since 4000BC"
  • sometimes bein the gentleman can get you into trouble though. offering your seat the fat bird cos she looks 8 months in.

    ''Im not pregnant''

    Its fecking devastating i tell you!

    Im going to get me one of them Baby on Board badges mind you... and hope that i spot no one i know on the train.

  • sometimes bein the gentleman can get you into trouble though. offering your seat the fat bird cos she looks 8 months in.

    ''Im not pregnant''

    So you say: "No I'm offering you the seat because you're carrying some timber."

  • my mrs is 8.5 months pregnant and been properly showing out (slag) for 3 months and i can safely say it's been 50-50 on the standing journeys we've had on the tube whether she's been offered but that's essex for you

    i always offer my seat to anyone who looks a bit older than me , although getting less of them people about
    someone like nicholas is probably always offered a seat and doesn't require it

    going on tube tomorrow will see if she gets a seat
  • Smithy said:

    I bet some of you lot moaning about 'courtesy and respect' are the ones who dont even say thank you when they get offered a seat :)

    I cant disagree with you Smithy, I was going into a shop a lady was coming out struggling with her shopping I held the door as she came through, consierge like I touched my cap she was being followed by her husband who called me a pi55 taker, so I let the door go : )


  • I always just ask if someone looks like they need it, I hold doors, I help with suitcases on train platforms with stairs and buggy's too.

    Most of my age group are losers and don't follow these rules me and some of my friends always do though.
  • Waiting to board my plane yesterday ,a little old man with a huge amount of carry on luggage stood in the middle of the corridor through which the passengers on the flight that has just arrived were making their way.

    He was in everyone's way and somehow oblivious to the chaos he was causing - being polite Canadians everyone struggled to get round him, nobody said a thing.....
  • my mrs is 8.5 months pregnant and been properly showing out (slag) for 3 months and i can safely say it's been 50-50 on the standing journeys we've had on the tube whether she's been offered but that's essex for you

    But most of the women in Essex are pregnant most of the time aren't they? I mean that's almost your 50% right there.
  • i always do but your all saying all younger people are selfsh and wont offer people a seat or have no common courtesy, your telling me that not one time in your life a youth or a more able person has not ever offered you a seat because i cant beleive that.
  • Last time I offered my seat to an elderly lady she got quite offended for some reason. And there's always the fear with offering your seat to 'pregnant' women who might only be pregnant with breakfast. The weirdest one was a while ago when I was going for a job interview at morning commute time and the tube platform was absolutely rammed. When the train pulled in it was just as bad and hardly anyone could get on, yet still this pregnant woman started shoving her way forward while shouting 'EXCUSE ME! I'M PREGNANT!!' like we were all blocking her way for fun rather than because of physics. She didn't get on that tube (and neither did anyone else) and you'd better believe the next tube was a pretty awkward one.

    That's why I always stand on the tube. Negotiating all the good manners/bad manners, 'no madam, I'm just offering you my seat because I thought you might like a sit down, I'm not trying to mug you. Please stop trying to call the police madam, phones don't work down here. No, that's not my fault either' stuff is just too much work for me. Stand up, iPod on (at a volume that is respectful to my fellow passengers of course), look at the floor, escape.
  • i always do but your all saying all younger people are selfsh and wont offer people a seat or have no common courtesy, your telling me that not one time in your life a youth or a more able person has not ever offered you a seat because i cant beleive that.


    Not at all. It's just that at one time not too many years go and certainly a time many on here remember very well, it just happened without asking or thought. It just did so something has changed.

  • It's not a generation / age thing at all. Some people are just rude. Simple.
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