Crystal Palace on Groupon

supaclive · February 6

2 tickets for £25 to see Palace v Doncaster. You have to be offering a minimum of 50% discount for Groupon to run an offer for you and they take 50% of the value, so take the VAT off and it's 2 tickets for £10.

Be interesting to see what the take up is for a tiny club in Croydon.

Granpa · February 6

I understand that the queue (2 so far) are an elderly couple who think it's Buckingham Palace.

blackheathaddick · February 6

Didnt the advert say something about "silencing" the crowd?

Airman Brown · February 6

The promotional blurb is ridiculous . . . "watch tick-worthy tricks"!

They apparently reached an FA Cp semi-final recently, by beating Manchester United.

And what are the chances of "26,000 dedicated fans" turning up?

Go, soccerball!

Although an unlikely social group, footballers, conductors, and harsh-marking teachers tend to bond over their love of scoring. Watch tick-worthy tricks with today’s Groupon: £25 for two tickets to watch Crystal Palace FC vs Doncaster Rovers on Saturday 11 February.

About the Club
Silencing crowds with buzz-cut strikes, fingertip saves, and well-crafted crosses, Crystal Palace Football Club has become synonymous with gritty displays of determination and top-class talent for more than a century. The club is currently testing net stitch-work with a vigorous Championship league campaign, alongside toppling giants Manchester United to reach the FA Cup semi-final. The multinational squad calls in talents from Argentina, Australia, Mexico and the UK, all performing under the watchful eyes of manager and Palace veteran Dougie Freedman.

About the Event
Donning the famous red and blue colours, two football aficionados can pass the Selhurst Park turnstiles to watch fiery displays of talent as Palace take on long-term rivals Doncaster Rovers. Looking to return the favour from a 1-0 defeat in September, the home side is sure to put on a show, performing in an electric stadium atmosphere charged by the passionate shouts of 26,000 dedicated fans.

Salad · February 6

what a steaming pile of bull....

at least we know who their rivals are now :-)

AFKABartram · February 6

That is the greatest blurb I have ever read.
Surely someone normal must have to review it before it gets sent out ?

'The club is currently testing net stitch-work with a vigorous Championship campaign '. Wtf ?????

supaclive · February 6

I wasn't able to copy and paste from blackberry but thank you for doing that Airman!!!!!

Salad · February 6

has someone posted it on their forum yet?

Friend Or Defoe · February 6

Brilliant, what a joke of a club!

GlassHalfFull · February 6

The ultimate self-parody of a parody of a football club

Macronate · February 6

words fail me, as if it's not embarrasing enough to be a Nigel.

Go, soccerball! wtf

SE7toSG3 · February 6

Thank you Crystal Palace FC for just being who you are.......another chapter in a century year old book of shame, maybe you should change you kit to stars and stripes to further cement your identity to match euro ultra fans, us home kit, brazil shirts when away, truly global....

legaladdick · February 6

This blurb reminds me of manuals which are translated from Chinese using a phrase-book

allez les addicks · February 6

Only sold 52 last time - makes you wonder if it's even worth it!

http://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/london-special/crystal-palace-football-club/1839446

RodneyCharltonTrotta · February 6

"People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but those in crystal palaces should score goals. Have a smashing time with today’s ...."

Was this written by a six year old, american from a 1980's gameshow script team as a part of a "How to fail at Life" course?

Embarrassing stunt from an utter embarrassment of a football club.

Bournemouth Addick · February 6

In the words of today's yoof OMG!

Either that's a brilliant piece of satirical, Superbowl based marketing or it's quite the most ridiculous thing I've seen in ages.

AshC · February 6

That's gotta be a mickey-take surely!

RedArmySE7 · February 6

They are the gift that keeps on giving.

Garrymanilow · February 6

Has anyone seen that amazing video of Darren Huckerby's interview when he joined San Jose Earthquakes? The one where 'Hucker-Hucker-Huckerby' flashes across the screen every few minutes and they claim they signed him from 'The Nor Folk team'. This reminds me of that, complete lack of understanding of the topic

ShootersHillGuru · February 6

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

redlanered · February 6

I still have (somewhere) my cutting from the New York Times which mentioned how Millwall had beaten Sheffield on Wednesday.

...but that'sfrom a while ago, and now there are plenty of 'proper' football fans there who would cringe just as much as us at the Groupon guff (they watch the Prem on ESPN with Ian Darke commentating, so normal football-speak is what is expected)

masicat · February 6

A muffin making business that used Groupon went bust due to demand. A small family business where the husband and wife team will be spending the next 40 years making loss making muffins due to demand.We could all buy tickets for this and break em!! That said, I paid an extra £200 to have satnav fitted with Croydon deleted, so I couldn't find the dump anyway.

Atletico Addick · February 6

About the Club
Silencing crowds with buzz-cut strikes, fingertip saves, and well-crafted crosses

They don't need all that to be silenced

SE10 · February 6

Joke club.

redcarter · February 6

They've changed some of the howlers now.

Oakster · February 6

long-term rivals Doncaster Rovers? eh?

DRF · February 6

allez les addicks said:
Only sold 52 last time - makes you wonder if it's even worth it!

http://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/london-special/crystal-palace-football-club/1839446

To be fair (and I appreciate this thread isn't) 52 was all they had on sale.

SE10Addick · February 6

33 bought so far...

Mendonca In Asdas · February 6

SE10Addick said:
33 bought so far...

Wow your keen ;-0

Airman Brown · February 6

DRF said:

allez les addicks said:
Only sold 52 last time - makes you wonder if it's even worth it!

http://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/london-special/crystal-palace-football-club/1839446
To be fair (and I appreciate this thread isn't) 52 was all they had on sale.

I don't think so. I think they just put up "sold out" when the time expires.

MrLargo · February 6

Says 80 bought now - that's £2,000!!! Certainly putting our previous ticket promotions in the shade.

Surely this is an offence under the Trade Descriptions Act - "performing in an electric stadium atmosphere charged by the passionate shouts of 26,000 dedicated fans."

Quite an acheivement fitting that many lies into 15 words.

Salad · February 6

'watch tick-worthy tricks' is still making me chuckle hours later :-)

supaclive · February 6

MrLargo said:
Says 80 bought now - that's £2,000!!! Certainly putting our previous ticket promotions in the shade.

Surely this is an offence under the Trade Descriptions Act - "performing in an electric stadium atmosphere charged by the passionate shouts of 26,000 dedicated fans."

Quite an acheivement fitting that many lies into 15 words.

As I said in the first instance - take the VAT off (£400) and split the money with Groupon - it actually has only been worth £800 to the Stripeys!

Salad · February 6

but if they've reached some people who've never been before then they may benefit from some repeat full-price sales in the future ....... especially once they've been silenced by buzz-cut strikes.

Airman Brown · February 6

Salad said:
but if they've reached some people who've never been before then they may benefit from some repeat full-price sales in the future ....... especially once they've been silenced by buzz-cut strikes.

This is the nub of it, but football below the PL being the niche market it is it's just as - if not more - likely they are selling these tickets to people who are already Palace fans. In that case, they may as well sell them direct and not give Group_On a cut. Also there are other ways of getting to people who are not current supporters, some of which we are using for Stevenage. The appeal of Group-On is that it has no up-front cost to the supplier, so you don't need a marketing budget.

I talked to Group-on a few times before Christmas but wasn't persuaded it was for us. Then again we didn't have any buzz-cut strikes or tick-worthy tricks to offer . . .

supaclive · February 6

We're thinking of using them for a film and itunes promotion - but that's because we definitely would hit thousands of people who may legally download a film for 50% off the current itunes price and again - no marketing up front costs and no actual costs to supplying the film ....

mistrollingin · February 6

Then again we didn't have any buzz-cut strikes or tick-worthy tricks to offer . . .

there's been a few players and managers over the past 5 years I'd like to give a buzz- cut strike to.

tangoflash · February 6

If 26,000 palace fans turn up to that game against their RIVALS Doncaster Rovers, I'll buy you all season tickets for the next 5 years...........................

Addickted4life · February 6

What a joke of a club.

Stig · February 6

Absolutely priceless. This is one of the few times in my life, I wished I knew more Palace fans.

Not only is the add the biggest load of waffly ballcocks you'll ever read, but it contradicts itself:

"Highlights: ... 25,000 capacity stadium"

"About the event: ... in an electric stadium atmosphere charged by the passionate shouts of 26,000 dedicated fans"

Have they got a fire certificate for that?

Addickted · February 6

Stig said:
Have they got a fire certificate for that?

They've certainly got some friends on Croydon Council as they're still getting the main stand passed on an annual basis. I just hope all their electrical equipment is up to scratch there.

The entries into their asbestos register could be quite interesting as well.

sunbury-addick · February 6

So funny - nearly laughed out as loud as when Cardiff won the pen shoot out

SE7toSG3 · February 6

They certainly have some strange fans, in recent years/months the ones I know have offered the following bizzare views that I dont think we would have been sold so easy,

1 Kit colour change - everyone does it even Arsenal, only muppet clubs keep the same kit
2 Badge change - its nice the club is giving us the choice, you wouldnt get that
3 Selhurst Express - its a great idea and nothing like yours we are offering a service to existing fans not nicking new ones and bussing them in
4 Moving ground - we are returning to our spiritual home and we need to compete with Spurs and Arsenal

An incredible bunch they really are, anyone for Catford Mount our spiritual home?

tom- k · February 6

Brighton fans were singing to the tune of "you'll never walk alone"

Groupon, groupon buy one, get one free
cuz your never fill your ground
your never fill your ground!

Salad · February 6

tom- k said:
Brighton fans were singing to the tune of "you'll never walk alone"

Groupon, groupon buy one, get one free
cuz your never fill your ground
your never fill your ground!

presume you Doncaster fans

tom- k · February 6

No, my friend showed me a youtube vid of Brighton fans singing it to them

Mendonca In Asdas · February 6

Airman Brown said:
The promotional blurb is ridiculous . . . "watch tick-worthy tricks"!

They apparently reached an FA Cp semi-final recently, by beating Manchester United.

And what are the chances of "26,000 dedicated fans" turning up?

Go, soccerball!

Although an unlikely social group, footballers, conductors, and harsh-marking teachers tend to bond over their love of scoring. Watch tick-worthy tricks with today’s Groupon: £25 for two tickets to watch Crystal Palace FC vs Doncaster Rovers on Saturday 11 February.

About the Club
Silencing crowds with buzz-cut strikes, fingertip saves, and well-crafted crosses, Crystal Palace Football Club has become synonymous with gritty displays of determination and top-class talent for more than a century. The club is currently testing net stitch-work with a vigorous Championship league campaign, alongside toppling giants Manchester United to reach the FA Cup semi-final. The multinational squad calls in talents from Argentina, Australia, Mexico and the UK, all performing under the watchful eyes of manager and Palace veteran Dougie Freedman.

About the Event
Donning the famous red and blue colours, two football aficionados can pass the Selhurst Park turnstiles to watch fiery displays of talent as Palace take on long-term rivals Doncaster Rovers. Looking to return the favour from a 1-0 defeat in September, the home side is sure to put on a show, performing in an electric stadium atmosphere charged by the passionate shouts of 26,000 dedicated fans.

I can't believe this is for real!

soapy_jones · February 6

Thats it, just bought half a dozen from Groupon and am now renouncing my allegiance to the Addicks after 40 years... That is one slick advertising campaign, I just could not resist. All I need now is to get up in my mums attic and find that old needlework basket so I can knock up a new Palarse Ultras banner for the Homosdale.