An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play any musical instrument you like".
The Englishman gives it a guitar which it plays better than Jimi Hendrix.
The Irishman gives it a piano which it plays better than Elton John.
The Scotsman throws it a set of bagpipes.
The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes without a sound from the bagpipes and the Scotsman finally asks, "what's wrong, can ye no play it"?
The octopus says, "Play It? I'm gonna f**k her brains out once I get her pyjamas off"
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