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Best Lads Holiday (or ladettes) uncut!

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    Not a holiday I was involved in, but a few blokes I know were away in Ibiza. One of them , called Declan, went a bit mad on the happy pills and disappeared. The rest of them rolled back up at the apartment the following morning to find Declan was laying in bed and had soiled himself. Ever since Declan has always called his Fantasy Football teams "Deco Dida Messi Kaka"

    Another one that always makes me laugh was in Magaluf 4 years ago. We were in some strip gaff, one of the dancers was up on the stage really going for it, then the music stopped, but she carried on for another minute or so - turned out she was deaf.
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    not even a lads holiday just a pissed up story, was in Dortmund a couple of years back with the Mrs for a Dortmund game and to visit the xmas markets, anyway we got to Dortmund pretty early on the Saturday and just ended up drinking all day and all night the klitchsko fury fight was on, got back to the hotel, i had a cig before going up and went to go in our room which was 318 instead went to 218 by accident the key card worked and without thought got into the room, went to the toilet as i came out there was a quite bemused German couple shouting hysterically at me, i shouted nein and went scurrying off down the corridor thankfully i didn't see them again.
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    only other one that springs to mind is at the euros last year, we were staying in Marseilles for 5 days :neutral: as there was 9 of us, we split up me and a freind were in the city centre the rest were in a place called l'estauque about 20 miles from the city and a fishing type port/village, there was a water bus that used to go there about 2 euro, for the final day as a few weren't travelling on to lens with us for the wales game we said we would go over to there's for a day on the beach, we got over there and found a tennis court with a football goal so being big kids we started playing headers and volleys in it, this algerian looking kid comes over and in pretty good english goes can i play so we let him, all of a sudden out of no where the fuckers freind has arrived on a moped the kid playing with us grabs what he could and makes off with it on the back of the moped, he got away with 5 wallets, 4 iphones and various other bits and peices, issue was everyone has put there stuff in one bag, after about half an hour of cancelling cards etc, had a pint in a local bar then made the way down to the beach only to see the guy that robbed us standing on the beach with his mates, weve chased after him and this was a really quiet french beach with families and theres 9 english blokes chasing after this guy hes jumped over a fence and a few have followed him over the fence, didnt realise but it was the french port authories base, out of no where 2 police speedboats have turned up police have pointed guns at us and made us all get on the floor, we got the bag back and a nice touch was there was about 600 euros in cash in the bag aswell, the kid that had stole was well known to the police but thankfully one of the police spoke english, we were then given a police escort back to the city centre, as one of the police officers said your lifes could be in danger if you stay here as his brother is a major gang member. so got back to marseille city centre and tucked into happy hour in the royal victoria pub had dinner aswell on the kids money.
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    A couple more contributions from me....

    Marbella stag do - 3/4 years ago not quite sure, there was around 16 of us. First day we get there midday which we had been drinking 5am in UK, my mates found a bar within 5 mins of where we were staying on the beach front. within 2 hours i do not remember a thing, we had 4 rubber ducks flying around where you had to down your pint and i got stitched up more than the stag(always seems to happen). At one point i was nearly sick over a couple of girls on the table behind me and the bar was knicknamed bev's bar. In the morning i did wake up and someone said have you apologised to Pete(not really my mate and someone one of my mates doesnt get on with) , turns out a couple of people dared me to rugby tackle him whilst he was on the phone to his misses, i proceeded to do this and his phone went into the sea and he was not happy! further nicknamed bevawhack and he wasn't too impressed the rest of the holiday oops. Was alot of other goings on but if im honest i was permanently drunk so dont remember things properly.

    Tenerife - again around 3 years ago possibly, this was a family holiday but me and my best mate who came with proceeded to go out every night from dinner 9pm- get in 8am everyday. One he ended up shagging some bird in the sea who 3 or 4 men were pestering before we turned up. On the first night i got my phone robbed by the local brass, on the last night i somehow managed to smash a local (couldnt speak english) went round to concrete but kept getting grazes so went to the beach, little did i know it was 7am broad daylight and people were doing the bins and strolling on the beach. I took a long 1 hour(or it felt like) back to my hotel gagging through drink and probably the bird, she asked if i had 5 euro for a cab told her to do one lol. Before the holiday i slept with someone and was chatting to them still and when i came back went back a few times, although this one from the beach had actually cut by ars through grabbing it so that was a difficult one to explain lol

    Take me back, feel like a need a lads one :)
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