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Mock the Week game

Henry IrvingHenry Irving
edited March 2010 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
As on the show there's a category and you have to give a witty answer.

Keep it clean-ish

Bad things to say at your first day at work
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    MCSMCS
    Morning boss, just going for a pre 'new job' pony, me guts are going right over!! Where are the traps???
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    sadiejane1981sadiejane1981
    ok boss lets cut to the chase, who do I have to sleep with for more money?
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    guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    I have to leave early, as my ASBO doesn't allow me out in the dark.
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    sadiejane1981sadiejane1981
    who am I?
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    Red5Red5
    right then lads let me introduce myself... the name's dowie... ian dowie
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    cafcdan18cafcdan18
    How long is my lunch hour?
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    Floyd MontanaFloyd Montana
    edited March 2010
    Where do you want me to attach my tug, boss?
    I:ve been told to turn Britain around
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    sadiejane1981sadiejane1981
    what's the combination for the safe?
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    RedZed333RedZed333
    What's the boss like...? I've heard he's a right twatt...
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    'Hi, nice to meet you. I know its a cheek but i have to leave at 2pm today as i'm playing a cup game against Southend United's youth team at Roots Hall tonight'

    Which is what i said in March 1993
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    Mister WindscreenMister Windscreen
    edited March 2010
    I'm Adolph, the new guy...and before you ask...yes I am CORGI registered!
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    RedZed333RedZed333
    Are we allowed to surf porn during our lunch breaks...?
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    sadiejane1981sadiejane1981
    so...what's their to do for fun around this dive?
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    Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    edited March 2010
    [cite]Posted By: Mister Windscreen[/cite]I'm Adolph, the new guy...and before you ask...yes I am CORGI registered!

    Just got that one. My fault for starting the thread so I shouldn't really complain but : - (
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    StubleyAddickStubleyAddick
    Hi Im Nigel...and I support Crystal Palace
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    Mister WindscreenMister Windscreen
    edited March 2010
    Henry...thanks for not deleting it. Although the past is no laughing matter, neither was my fathers Malaria, my ricketts, and as they were called then...special shoes, and always feeling hungry. Mind you, the bomb sites in Plumstead were great adventure playgrounds.
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    Alex WrightAlex Wright
    ".....move out of the way, I'm an England international......"
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    Alex WrightAlex Wright
    "Hello lads, I'm really pleased to have taken over as your new manager.

    Meet my first signing, John Terry"
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    BDLBDL
    Good Morning to you sir, I'm Derek. I've just travelled into work on a number 38 Bus, did you know that they'd taken away the bendy buses and replaced them with Scania 451's? I was reallllllly excited, I sat on the top deck at the front and pretended I was the Driver. Ding ding brooooooooooom brooooooooooom
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    Alex WrightAlex Wright
    so, you want me to be here at WHAT time every moring? You're 'avin a laugh mate. I don't get out of bed before 09:30 for anyone.
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    ChizzChizz
    Look, it's 4 o'clock now. And, as I always say, there's no point being late BOTH ends of the day. See ya tomorrow.
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    "Morning team, its an honour to be here and i look forward to working with every one of you. Two tasks to get you started with; 1. I'm very keen on contingency planning, so if you could all jot down your wives mobile numbers that would be great, and 2. Just for a bit of fun, and to show i'm hopefully going to be a fun boss, i naturally wasn't here for the Christmas Party so i'd like everyone to do a list of as many of their colleagues partners names as they can, and then rank them in order of filthiness potential. I stress, this is just a bit of fun'
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    Valley_floyd_redValley_floyd_red
    This is the colonic irrigation clinic, Right?
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    guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    Which do I use? the mens or ladies toilets until I have my op.
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    "ha, good one, i can see you're the comedian round here. Now joking aside, who really is the boss"
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    GenesisGenesis
    Who's that nice bit of skirt over there?.............. Oh sorry, I didn't realise it was your daughter.
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    MarcoMarco
    Do I have to ask EVERYONE if they want fries?
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    ChizzChizz
    Hello. My name's Nathan.
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    BDLBDL
    Oh I haven't worked since the incident at my last office. So how well insured do you have this place?
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    Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    "Can we skip the induction? I need to get on Charlton Life and see who today's Would Ya is"
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