Charlton to move 500 miles North under Tory government.

Mister Windscreen

I was shocked to see this headline on teletext tonight.

CAMERON PROMISES TO TURN BRITAIN AROUND!

I turned a map of Britain 180 degrees in photoshop and the real spooky thing is that our ground ends up on "The Mull of Kintyre" I'm off to Millets in the morning to get myself a wax jacket...can blow a gale up there!

kimbo

It is lovely at kintyre but would take too long on valley bus so I don't think this is a good idea. Another reason if I needed one not to vote tory.

bingaddick

[cite]Posted By: Mister Windscreen[/cite]I was shocked to see this headline on teletext tonight.

CAMERON PROMISES TO TURN BRITAIN AROUND!

With what, a whole plethora of sound bites?

Cordoban Addick

It might of course mean that rather than turning the country on its north/south axis, he intends to flip it over like a pancake. That way we will still be located roughly where we are but will have to play at a subterranean ground. So rather than playing at the valley we will be playing at the cavern. One of the good aspects of this policy is that SE London will finally get an extensive underground system.

ShootersHillGuru

Surely Charlton would be playing in the SPL. Champions League in three seasons under McParky I rekon.

Floyd Montana

No, no, no its a plate tectonics thing.
To get rid of litter and run down housing stock he aims to turn the country around, so the mountains will now be pointing towards the inner core of the planet.

Lovely, a nice clean start

he has got my vote as soon as I see a credible machine capable of such a task.
One for James May, methinks

sadiejane1981

if we were flipped wouldn't we be somewhere near where Taunton is now? except under water?

Floyd Montana

Depends how deep the turn around takes place.
Deeper than the mohorovicic discontinuity at about 32 kms below the UK, and we will be facing 1600 degree C mantle rocks

Miserableoldgit

[cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]Depends how deep the turn around takes place.
Deeper than the mohorovicic discontinuity at about 32 kms below the UK, and we will be facing 1600 degree C mantle rocks

I was gonna say that...............

Cordoban Addick

OK the pancake flip analogy does not bear up to close examination. What I was thinking was that everything would be geographically in the same place, just facing downwards. There is a whole world down there you know, what was that wonderful documentary with Dr. Brendan Fraser called? Journey to the centre of the earth or something.

If we were to remove the mountains of Scotland would it increase or decrease the Flandrian Transgression.

And I read somewhere else that we only had two brains between us on this site.

sadiejane1981

[cite]Posted By: Cordoban Addick[/cite]And I read somewhere else that we only had two brains between us on this site.

Okay; if you like. One is mine, you can all share the other one

Oggy Red

[cite]Posted By: sadiejane1981[/cite]if we were flipped wouldn't we be somewhere near where Taunton is now?

That would be a bit handier for me ......... less than 100 miles away, I could then get to most home matches.
Except, I'd be turned around too.

Where does Cameron want Cornwall to be in his great British turnaround?

sadiejane1981

[cite]Posted By: Oggy Red[/cite]Where does Cameron want Cornwall to be in his great British turnaround?

kicking France up the Butt!!

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: sadiejane1981[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: Cordoban Addick[/cite]And I read somewhere else that we only had two brains between us on this site.

Okay; if you like. One is mine, you can all share the other one

Bloody typical always slagging off the english. (Winky thing).

[cite]Posted By: Oggy Red[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: sadiejane1981[/cite]if we were flipped wouldn't we be somewhere near where Taunton is now?

That would be a bit handier for me ......... less than 100 miles away, I could then get to most home matches.
Except, I'd be turned around too.

Where does Cameron want Cornwall to be in his great British turnaround?

Most definately voting Tory I would think.

Oggy Red

[cite]Posted By: sadiejane1981[/cite]

[cite]Posted By: Oggy Red[/cite]Where does Cameron want Cornwall to be in his great British turnaround?

kicking France up the Butt!!

I'd settle for that!

A bit further south, and no bloody self-serving Tories or Loony Labour.
And beer's cheaper.

Floyd Montana

I have a feeling he actually wants to move the south to the north to increase the tory vote in Scotland

Of course due to isostatic recovery, (from the romoval of thick ice from the northern part of Britain) Cornwall is slowly sinking into the sea anyway, whilst northern Scotland continues to rise

Maybe Cameron thinks he will change that.

Oggy Red

[cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]Cornwall is slowly sinking into the sea anyway

Everything in Cornwall happens slowly, anyway.

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]I have a feeling he actually wants to move the south to the north to increase the tory vote in Scotland

Of course due to isostatic recovery, (from the romoval of thick ice from the northern part of Britain) Cornwall is slowly sinking into the sea anyway, whilst northern Scotland continues to rise

Maybe Cameron thinks he will change that.

Flandrain Transgression anyone?

Floyd Montana

I thought you would never ask Cordo!
Shall I contact John T or will you

windscreen

Me and im were in stitches this morning, such brilliant, brilliant replies.

Sussex_Addick

[quote][cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]Maybe Cameron thinks he will change that.[/quote]

At least we can be sure there'll be ch-ch-ch- changes :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYkGThMYmbk

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]I thought you would never ask Cordo!
Shall I contact John T or will you

Got me hands full with Craig "glass houses" Bellamy at the moment, but I would be up for some Flandrian Transgression after, JT or no JT.

Floyd Montana

It might be a tad erratic then eh?
What would be the best pub to discuss flandrian transgressions?

Miserableoldgit

http://www.britannica.com/facts/5/586271/Flandrian-Transgression-as-discussed-in-Holocene-Epoch-geochronology

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: Floyd Montana[/cite]It might be a tad erratic then eh?
What would be the best pub to discuss flandrian transgressions?

Know a good pub on a hill anywhere, west of the Thames barrier?

leaburn4england

It's all a misquote. He actually intends to turn Britain round. He will change the shape of the nation by demolishing Scotland and using the best bits to fill in the North Sea. "Scotland never returns any Tory MPs anyway" a callous spokesman commented.

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: leaburn4england[/cite]It's all a misquote. He actually intends to turn Britain round. He will change the shape of the nation by demolishing Scotland and using the best bits to fill in the North Sea. "Scotland never returns any Tory MPs anyway" a callous spokesman commented.

Yeah but that would mean we would be closer to Europe, can't see the Tory grandees standing for that. Isn't a large part of (the land) of England formed from the mountains of Scotland, all they would really be doing is speeding up a process millions of years in the making. I can just see the posters, Conservatives bringing geology to middle England.

S_E_7

Confused ? Lol

Cordoban Addick

[cite]Posted By: S_E_7[/cite]Confused ? Lol

No you are right, I can't see that slogan getting many votes.