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Best Quotes From Curb Your Enthusiasm

edited January 2010 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
I know that "Beloved *unt" is going to take some beating, but there's so many good 'uns.

From the last series, Jeff in a neck brace, "You gotta tell Suzie I was in a car accident".
or from and earlier one:
Larry after his shoes were nicked at a bowling alley: "What kind of man steals someone elses shoes"?
Reply: "A man with shoes like that".
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Comments

  • Has to be

    "You're black and your last name is Black? That's like if my name was Larry Jew."
  • [cite]Posted By: vancouveraddick[/cite]Has to be

    "You're black and your last name is Black? That's like if my name was Larry Jew."

    Great call. The fantastic thing is that as you read the words, it's Larry David's voice in your head. That's a mark of how good it is.
  • So, so many - but a personal favourite of mine is:

    Lunatic outside cinema: "You are a self-loathing Jew" - Larry'd response: "Oh, I hate myself but it has nothing to do with being Jewish"
  • Larry, your dog is racist. That is a racist dog!
  • Watched it for the first time about this time last year. I like it cant remeber any quotes that stand out but for US comedy its one of the best.
  • 'F*ck you, you carwash c*nt'
    &
    'Cock, Cock, Grandma!, Jism!, Cock!'

    from the Tourettes restaurant opening are my faves
  • Cool del la, or somthing like that when his black gf family move in, he goes around saying I'm coo del la or owt simular very funny.

    Recently when he tells the doctor the 13 year old girl he went to dinner with gave him a rash was legendry...

    Groats desease...
  • the stutter as disability to use the disabled toilet sketch
  • Pri-tyy gooood priittty priitttyyy goooooood
  • although not a quote as such but the episode from series 6 with the stained blanket is a corker
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  • Most recently

    "You don't give Jason your pen! You don't give Jason anything that can be inserted!"

    and

    "Should'nt I be wha.... Taking my mthr fking chinese food and eating it in my mthr fking room? Thats what I'm gonna do Larry."
  • Anything with Leon actually.
  • Leon "I'm the king of tappin that ass"
  • Got the boxset (series 1 to 6) for Christmas. Just gone through the whole lot in one go... Prettty, prettty, prettty good!

    Has to be the funniest, cleverest sit-com ever.

    Fave episode: Krazee-Eyez killa: Are you my Caucasian?! Cool-De-La!

    Looking forward to series 7 on DVD!
  • Pretteh... Pretteh... Pretteh... Pretteh good. Pretteh good.
  • "You got some long-ass balls Larry - Long balls Larry"' (Leon)

    "So what if she's a Republican - I'd F%£K her with a Bush mask on" (Jeff)

    Tell ya, once you get into all the characters you can't get enough of it - I'm "addickted"
  • edited March 2010
    Jeff's wife must be what all men fear their women will turn into once they marry them.
  • [cite]Posted By: Chunes[/cite]Jeff's wife must be what all men fear their women will turn into once they marry them.

    Yeah, but (am I on my own here) something about her that makes me think she'd be a bit nawty in the bedroom. Obviously Cheryl for the looks, but Susie for the rough stuff!
  • Cheryl for me all day long...
  • Hmm, not so sure mate. . . . .
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  • "Wheelchair Wendy" - Laughed so much my missus thought I was having a coronary.
  • "I bring the ruckus to the ladies"

    Leon's lines are genius.
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: Chunes[/cite]Jeff's wife must be what all men fear their women will turn into once they marry them.[/quote] "jeff you fat fuck"...she's got a way with words
  • "You get in that a$$, you open that a$$hole up and you pull that a$$hole open, step inside, and spray paint 'Larry Was Here.'
    F*ck his whole a$$hole up, eat snicker bars, throw trash on the ground and then you step out his a$$--
    And you leave that aSShole wide open so that motherfucker knows you been there"....

    ...if you know the episode its the one where Larry has been abused by a skinhead racist/anti-semite at the doctors, the above is Leons advice to Larry what to do next timerather than just back down....

    ....Larry takes the advice and has a go at someone he believes to be another skinhead racist, again at the doctors........the guy is going through chemotherapy!!!!

    Anything with Leon or Susie is classic. CYE has to be my favourite comedy at the moment.
  • [cite]Posted By: falconwood_1[/cite]"I bring the ruckus to the ladies"

    Leon's lines are genius.

    Earlier in that scene....

    Larry: "Ejaculate."

    Leon: "Ejaculate?"

    Larry: "Ejaculate!"
  • [cite]Posted By: Red5[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Chunes[/cite]Jeff's wife must be what all men fear their women will turn into once they marry them.

    Yeah, but (am I on my own here) something about her that makes me think she'd be a bit nawty in the bedroom. Obviously Cheryl for the looks, but Susie for the rough stuff!
    Not on your own - she is absolute, utter filth - and I reckon avin it with her would be like a fight. I love that Jewish Noo Yawk accent as well (obviously toned down a bit from the put on screech she affects on the show) so she'd get it until my balls dropped off.
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: Ormiston Addick[/cite][quote][cite]Posted By: falconwood_1[/cite]"I bring the ruckus to the ladies"

    Leon's lines are genius.[/quote]

    Earlier in that scene....

    Larry: "Ejaculate."

    Leon: "Ejaculate?"

    Larry: "Ejaculate!"[/quote]

    Not Ejacolate, EJACULATE!

    Jeff is my favourite character in the show.

    When hes at the dinner table saying he didnt sleep with BamBam....so funny
  • How good is this show...

    The mention of crazy-eyes killa just had me laughing embarassingly loud just at the though of it....
  • On Adele David's headstone, "Mother of Larry, an asshole and a swan-killer".
  • Apparently Ricky Gervais is going to be in the next series.
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