"made my way through the Turnstiles and straight away brought my tickets for the 50/50 match day lottery and queued up to buy my bottle of Coca Cola and yes they do still take the lids off, good thing I took one spare with me just in-case"
I think he should be heralded as a modern day hero...never underestimate the potential damage spillage of 50cl of soft drink can do.
Nothing wrong with a bit of detail as a general rule but this guy overdoes it somewhat!
To be fair I get the impression that he is about 15 or so and if that is right fair play to him. I'm not sure how good my description of a day at the match would have been at that age.
'So I made my way to my Unce’s house where my Dad was before getting a lift to George’s Plaice where I brought a Large Portion of Chips and Two Cans of Coca Cola for myself and One Large Portion of Chips, a Fish Cake and a Double Cheeseburger for mum and dad – I spoke to the owner who I tend to see regularly after home matches and gave my view of the Charlton match and also asked what was The Chelsea score as he supports Chelsea, except that Chelsea had a evening kick off and had the match had just started.'
Apparantly Scorsese and Speilberg are vying for the film rights.
Move over Byron, Acworth you have a soul mate....actually it makes Acworth look like Shakespeare.
"and as I brought my programme I was told that the club shop had over double the amount of match day programme’s available for this match simply because the demand was their and that we were expecting a big attendance for this match" - WOW!!
"I got speaking with Seb and Cameron" - does anyone know anyone called Seb or Cameron?
"and the response I got was a YES and it would have to be a lot worse before the ref considers calling the game off." - it was barely even raining and wasn't even cold.
"Because the floor was completely soaked I put my match day programme in Porkipie100’s bag so that my programme remained dry " - HA HA HA HA HA!!
"speaking of the attendance the attendance was announced at 10,304 which is just outstanding for a league fixture" - YES QUITE SIMPLY PHENOMENAL!
"Porkipie100 gave me my match day programme which had remained dry thank to his bag and I am glad I didn’t leave my programme on the floor which would have been soaked" - GOOD OLD PORKPIE!
To be fair he is quite articulate and I would imagine that many "yoof of today" would make him look like Stephen Fry by comparison and I imagine there are numerous reviews by his peers along the lines of :
My day at da football
"Was chillin in my crib on Saturday mornin innit, when me muvva woke me up n told me iz gunna b late for da game if iz didn’t get my shit togther and get ready. I gave her a look dat sed “get out of my space woman” and put her in her place. I told that skank propa innit.
I quickly polished my tag coz I take pride in my pearance n’ dat n youz neva no who iz checkin out your ankles innit. Put on my best burbree gear dat is snide from chatam market but looks propa real n dem bitches dat hang round burger king sez I look well buff when I wear it. Sweet.
Practice my scowl and “ded behind da eyes” look dat gets me maximum respeck round medway, (da ghetto ov Europe) and make my way to da ground. Me old man says “Oliver would you like a lift to the game son?” n I fink “oh my dayz no way bruv dem wheels aint pimped enuff n I iz got a rep to keep.”
Walk to da game n swagger like I av a limp or summat but I kno it makes me look tuff. Sum peoples ask what I have done to my foot to be walkin like dis and ask iz I drunk or summat….dey just aint street and I aint got time to mash dem up so I just walk on and hear dem laughing out of fear at me innit.
At da game itz propa nawty n all da faces from my crew are dere. Quentin iz probably the craziest mofo in our firm n ez alwayz doin mental shit n dat n he took fings one step furva today when he turned up and told us dat he aint done iz science coursework yet….”oh my dayz…!” we all sez. Nuff respeck to da pwopa bad man.
The game waz like some shit you see on Danny Dyer Real football facktories with the Charlton mob singing songs to da adams family toon. I didn’t get what dey meant but wondered how dey new about me and my step sista….probably nuff grasses been spreading lies n shit. We gave it bak doh, n mad Tarquin nearly got arrested for sticking iz fingers up towards da away fans end. In fact if it hadn’t been ten minutes afta full time I reckonz he would ave got a life ban innit.
My dad gave me a lift back to my crib afta da game coz he sed dat it was for my own safety but we both knew dat itz coz he didn’t want da aggro of being sued when I took on the ova firm and turned dem ova single handed innit.
Got home in time for strictly cum dancin n my mum asked if I had a good day. I lied to protect her n sed it was uneventful….if only she knew the crazy shit I have just told you.
Jesus, can Gillingham not afford a website editor? Not only is it rather heavy on detail and light on interest, it's riddled with bad spelling and grammar.
Excellent work by Rodders though, but admit it - that was just your diary entry for Saturday night wasn't it?
"as we drove across the A2 and past the roundabout where the Big Tesco’s is I saw a replacement bus service with a sign with South Eastern Services on the front which suggests that trains were not running as usual. (And had I got the train I am sure the replacement bus service would have been packed)"
At this point I think you'll agree, he has you hooked!
[cite]Posted By: son of selhurst[/cite]"as we drove across the A2 and past the roundabout where the Big Tesco’s is I saw a replacement bus service with a sign with South Eastern Services on the front which suggests that trains were not running as usual. (And had I got the train I am sure the replacement bus service would have been packed)"
At this point I think you'll agree, he has you hooked!
[cite]Posted By: son of selhurst[/cite]"as we drove across the A2 and past the roundabout where the Big Tesco’s is I saw a replacement bus service with a sign with South Eastern Services on the front which suggests that trains were not running as usual. (And had I got the train I am sure the replacement bus service would have been packed)"
At this point I think you'll agree, he has you hooked!
But who is it quoting this piece? : - )
Well you are now...................this conversation has the decreasing repetition potential of a russian doll.
Comments
I think he should be heralded as a modern day hero...never underestimate the potential damage spillage of 50cl of soft drink can do.
To be fair I get the impression that he is about 15 or so and if that is right fair play to him. I'm not sure how good my description of a day at the match would have been at that age.
Apparantly Scorsese and Speilberg are vying for the film rights.
Move over Byron, Acworth you have a soul mate....actually it makes Acworth look like Shakespeare.
"I got speaking with Seb and Cameron" - does anyone know anyone called Seb or Cameron?
"and the response I got was a YES and it would have to be a lot worse before the ref considers calling the game off." - it was barely even raining and wasn't even cold.
"Because the floor was completely soaked I put my match day programme in Porkipie100’s bag so that my programme remained dry " - HA HA HA HA HA!!
"speaking of the attendance the attendance was announced at 10,304 which is just outstanding for a league fixture" - YES QUITE SIMPLY PHENOMENAL!
"Porkipie100 gave me my match day programme which had remained dry thank to his bag and I am glad I didn’t leave my programme on the floor which would have been soaked" - GOOD OLD PORKPIE!
"
My day at da football
"Was chillin in my crib on Saturday mornin innit, when me muvva woke me up n told me iz gunna b late for da game if iz didn’t get my shit togther and get ready. I gave her a look dat sed “get out of my space woman” and put her in her place. I told that skank propa innit.
I quickly polished my tag coz I take pride in my pearance n’ dat n youz neva no who iz checkin out your ankles innit. Put on my best burbree gear dat is snide from chatam market but looks propa real n dem bitches dat hang round burger king sez I look well buff when I wear it. Sweet.
Practice my scowl and “ded behind da eyes” look dat gets me maximum respeck round medway, (da ghetto ov Europe) and make my way to da ground. Me old man says “Oliver would you like a lift to the game son?” n I fink “oh my dayz no way bruv dem wheels aint pimped enuff n I iz got a rep to keep.”
Walk to da game n swagger like I av a limp or summat but I kno it makes me look tuff. Sum peoples ask what I have done to my foot to be walkin like dis and ask iz I drunk or summat….dey just aint street and I aint got time to mash dem up so I just walk on and hear dem laughing out of fear at me innit.
At da game itz propa nawty n all da faces from my crew are dere. Quentin iz probably the craziest mofo in our firm n ez alwayz doin mental shit n dat n he took fings one step furva today when he turned up and told us dat he aint done iz science coursework yet….”oh my dayz…!” we all sez. Nuff respeck to da pwopa bad man.
The game waz like some shit you see on Danny Dyer Real football facktories with the Charlton mob singing songs to da adams family toon. I didn’t get what dey meant but wondered how dey new about me and my step sista….probably nuff grasses been spreading lies n shit. We gave it bak doh, n mad Tarquin nearly got arrested for sticking iz fingers up towards da away fans end. In fact if it hadn’t been ten minutes afta full time I reckonz he would ave got a life ban innit.
My dad gave me a lift back to my crib afta da game coz he sed dat it was for my own safety but we both knew dat itz coz he didn’t want da aggro of being sued when I took on the ova firm and turned dem ova single handed innit.
Got home in time for strictly cum dancin n my mum asked if I had a good day. I lied to protect her n sed it was uneventful….if only she knew the crazy shit I have just told you.
Dats how I roll innit doh.
Safe.
"
what a line
Come on pork pie, whose your mate?
Excellent work by Rodders though, but admit it - that was just your diary entry for Saturday night wasn't it?
I suppose you don't have much if you live in a caravan.
At this point I think you'll agree, he has you hooked!
But who is it quoting this piece? : - )
Well you are now...................this conversation has the decreasing repetition potential of a russian doll.
Shame that he didn't win the jackpot
Like a wheel within a wheel,
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain,
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Spinning silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind!
Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half-forgotten dream
Like the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream.