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Jokes..

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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
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    ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    I just sent my colleague a "Get Better Soon" card...

    They're not sick. I just they could do a whole lot fucking better at their job!
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    man_at_millettsman_at_milletts
    I have great respect for black cab drivers. They always go the extra mile.
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    "I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"

    "What do they look like?"

    "Hands."
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    GNelson said:


    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    "I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"

    "What do they look like?"

    "Hands."

    Second hand joke
    Watch it.
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    Taxi_LadTaxi_Lad
    man_at_milletts said:

    I have great respect for black cab drivers. They always go the extra mile.

    Erm..... I think you mean Uber !!
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    man_at_millettsman_at_milletts
    Taxi_Lad said:

    man_at_milletts said:

    I have great respect for black cab drivers. They always go the extra mile.

    Erm..... I think you mean Uber !!
    How very dare you! Course I do.
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    thai malaysia addickthai malaysia addick
    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    "I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"

    "What do they look like?"

    "Hands."

    I know the old ones are the best, but repeating it minutes after posting the first one is stretching it a bit far.
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    Scientists have grown human vocal chords in a Petri dish.

    The results speak for themselves.
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    thai malaysia addick said:

    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    "I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"

    "What do they look like?"

    "Hands."

    I know the old ones are the best, but repeating it minutes after posting the first one is stretching it a bit far.
    Please accept my humble apologies for an accidental double post last week.

    I am so sorry the content and repetition so upset you that you felt you had to post on the jokes thread about the terrible experience that I forced you to endure.

    If there is any way I can repair the damage done, just let me know.

    I see you LOL'd GNelsons excellent response, so perhaps it wasn't all bad news?
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    A-R-T-H-U-RA-R-T-H-U-R
    edited November 2018
    smudge7946 said:

    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    thai malaysia addick said:

    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    "I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"

    "What do they look like?"

    "Hands."

    I know the old ones are the best, but repeating it minutes after posting the first one is stretching it a bit far.
    Please accept my humble apologies for an accidental double post last week.

    I am so sorry the content and repetition so upset you that you felt you had to post on the jokes thread about the terrible experience that I forced you to endure.

    If there is any way I can repair the damage done, just let me know.

    I see you LOL'd GNelsons excellent response, so perhaps it wasn't all bad news?
    This post is the funniest thing you have posted on here
    So glad to be of assistance to you and your sense of humour.

    I thought this one last month was funnier, though.
    "I went out with a parachutist with IBS.
    But she shat on me from a great height."

    Can't understand no thanks.

    Like when I was sent to prison for a white collar crime.
    I murdered a vicar.
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the police.

    He must be a part of some extreme mist group.
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    man_at_millettsman_at_milletts
    edited November 2018
    Courtesy of ISIHAC last night.

    I was going to start a Village People tribute band, but didn't think I could pull the builder off, so I donned a cowboy hat and eased myself into a pair of chaps.

    Classic Barry Cryer!
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    SolidgoneSolidgone
    Dating is a lot like fishing...

    Sure, there's lots of fish in the ocean, but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
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    mistrollinginmistrollingin
    man_at_milletts said:

    Courtesy of ISIHAC last night.

    I was going to start a Village People tribute band, but didn't think I could pull the builder off, so I donned a cowboy hat and eased myself into a pair of chaps.

    Classic Barry Cryer!

    Love that programme.
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    AcabAcab
    man_at_milletts said:

    I have great respect for black cab drivers. They always go the extra mile.

    Oi
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    BigbadbozmanBigbadbozman
    What do you get if you turn a blonde upside down?

    A brunette with bad breath
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    ToogoodToogood
    Whilst cooking tonight I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now Parsley sighted
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    thai malaysia addickthai malaysia addick
    Toogood said:

    Whilst cooking tonight I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now Parsley sighted

    I’ve always got thyme for those sort of jokes, but don’t get caraway or you’ll be sorrel.
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    paulie8290paulie8290
    thai malaysia addick said:

    Toogood said:

    Whilst cooking tonight I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now Parsley sighted

    I’ve always got thyme for those sort of jokes, but don’t get caraway or you’ll be sorrel.
    Dunno what your Dill is, I think these jokes are Mint
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    holyjoholyjo
    paulie8290 said:

    thai malaysia addick said:

    Toogood said:

    Whilst cooking tonight I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now Parsley sighted

    I’ve always got thyme for those sort of jokes, but don’t get caraway or you’ll be sorrel.
    Dunno what your Dill is, I think these jokes are Mint
    A sage like response might suggest we should leave these puns to coriander other soaps. That said some of these puns are mustard
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