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Jokes..

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  •  Jonathan Ross has been charged with stealing a kitchen utensil.

    He said it was a whisk...but it was worth taking!!!!

    Someone suscribes to Sickapedia I see. Some of those are best kept on text to your mates I think.
    Clive....I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you
  • blimey   i won't post my sick jokes then.  these were the politically correct ones !!!

     

    Don't worry........just keep going and ignore the comments. He's obviously not got much more to do than
    police this thread and give an opinion and is obviously so friggin good that he's NEVER told an Irish, Blonde,
    or similar joke himself....ever....
  •  Jonathan Ross has been charged with stealing a kitchen utensil.

    He said it was a whisk...but it was worth taking!!!!

    Is that you Clive? Taking the piss out of someone with a speech impediment?????
    surely not......????
  • Some of those jokes were really sick Raymondao.

    Got any more?

     

     

    Yeh...........more please
  •  

    Me and the mrs favourite sexual position is called''man city in europe'' Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, theres no passion no communication and we never make it past the 1st stage.theres horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet .its over far too quickly and when it does end i know it'll be at least another fucking year before it happens again!
  • edited October 2011

    I'm not telling anybody anything. I am giving my opinon just as you are giving yours. We are both entitled to do so. I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me. That's fine with me but you don't seem to accept it. And yes, as I have already said, I have laughed at sick jokes. I have laughed at sexist jokes and I am big enough to admit that I have even laughed at a jokes that some may call racist. I'm not a hypocrite.

    All I am saying, which some of you do not seem to be able to grasp, is that I think certain types of jokes should not be written on a public forum. It's that simple. I can't stop you from doing so, but I can have an opinion whether you agree or not.

    As for the Jonathan Ross joke, well I got it from Jonathan Ross himself so I see no problem there.

    I hope that clears everything up.

  • How can anybody think a joke about child abuse is funny? The sick jokes are ok to an extent but that is crossing the line
  • I'm not saying the joke about child abuse is funny, I think it's sick, but what gives me the right to tell a person that they can't post on an open forum because it offends people that's their choice.
    You are actually quite thick aren't you? Move on.
  • edited October 2011
    .
  • I'm not telling anybody anything. I am giving my opinon just as you are giving yours. We are both entitled to do so. I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me. That's fine with me but you don't seem to accept it. And yes, as I have already said, I have laughed at sick jokes. I have laughed at sexist jokes and I am big enough to admit that I have even laughed at a jokes that some may call racist. I'm not a hypocrite.

    All I am saying, which some of you do not seem to be able to grasp, is that I think certain types of jokes should not be written on a public forum. It's that simple. I can't stop you from doing so, but I can have an opinion whether you agree or not.

    As for the Jonathan Ross joke, well I got it from Jonathan Ross himself so I see no problem there.

    I hope that clears everything up.

    No... it does'nt............

    So.... why do you judge and try to suggest to people what they
    should or should not write here in this forum ? You seem to have
    a very big 'holier than thou' attitide going on right now....

    Have you actually read ALL the jokes here? coz there are MANY which
    do not fit into your criteria yet you have only commented to a few !
    That seems rather personal to me.

    Why do you have to post your opinions of peoples posts anyway?
    when it would be better for everyone for you to bite your tongue
    for a change and just let admin decide what is ok for this site?

    Quote : 'Just like to point out Mr Totaladdicktion that this thread is for JOKES'
     
    Who the bloody hell do you think you are? I am not some kid that you think it's
    ok to talk down to and try to humiliate infront of others ! BEFORE you write
    something like that again it would be in your own interest to know the person
    first and NOT be so disrespectful.

    Quote : 'which some of you do not seem to be able to grasp'

    Do you think that we are stupid??

    Quote : 'I'm not a hypocrite'

    Now that IS funny !

    Quote/Joke : 'Just seen Kevin Webster in his garage, working on a 14 year old Escort...' 

    Was that joke just supposed to be about a car or what?

    I don't care where you got that J Ross joke from it's still hypocritical
    of you to post it when you have such high morals and in your own words
    'a public forum' when you know it takes the piss out of people with
    speech problems.

    If you don't like what is posted here then just ignore it and click on
    another forum link. That's easy....right?

    PLEASE...do us all a favour and just keep your opinions to yourself
    before this whole thing gets way out of hand.

    Thank you
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  • I'm not saying the joke about child abuse is funny, I think it's sick, but what gives me the right to tell a person that they can't post on an open forum because it offends people that's their choice.
    You are actually quite thick aren't you? Move on.

    There you go again... you don't know him yet you have now made it personal and insulting.
    If only you'd have kept your opinion to yourself...............

  • I'm not saying the joke about child abuse is funny, I think it's sick, but what gives me the right to tell a person that they can't post on an open forum because it offends people that's their choice.
    Would your opinion be the same if he posted dead baby jokes or sick pictures of children the line has to be drawn somewhere. where do you suppose this line is drawn?
  • Keep my opinions to myself? On a forum? Hmmmm......

    I'll carry on posting whatever I want. I'll also say when I think things are not suitable.

    I've posted some of the funniest jokes on this thread, that's F-U-N-N-Y. I will continue to do so.

  • The thing is though, a forum is not "open" per se. The internet and chat forums within them are a reflection of "normal" society. i have groups of friends I would repeat certain jokes to and other groups of friends I wouldn't even dream of repeating the same joke to. Those groups are self policing in the same this forum, or any forum is. You have to gauge the mood and feel... and most people know what is appropriate and what isn't. Whether it's online or in the "real world".

    Is it ok to tell the joke from earlier about kids being sodomized on here? Is it ok to tell the same joke on all other forums, say one that it is for victims of child abuse? They're all open forums after all?

    I'm with Cliveg on this one. I found most of the jokes funny, but not ALL were, in my opinion, appropriate for this forum.

    Anyway, got to stop now as my Blackberry is playing up:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI&feature=share










  • Back to the jokes...

     

    Just got a text from a Kiwi mate... "I haven't been this nervous about a semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain"

  • Back to the jokes...

     

    Just got a text from a Kiwi mate... "I haven't been this nervous about a semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain"

    Another one doing the rounds here in NZ:

    Did you hear that thieves broke into the All Black trophy room last night?
    Police are appealing for information on the whereabouts of a glass cabinet and a carpet.
  • Is that homophobic cliveg?
  • Whats the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman ?

     

    One is a superhero , the other is an instruction

  • Hahaha.... doesn't do himself any favours.

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  • Is that homophobic cliveg?
    Well speaking as a gay man myself I'd say certainly not.
  • What do you call two gay Irishmen???



    Gerald Fitzpatrick


    and



    Patrick Fitzgerald
  • Why do so many gays have mustaches?





    To hide the stretch marks.
  • What do you call two gay Irishmen???



    Gerald Fitzpatrick


    and



    Patrick Fitzgerald

    Any chance that they're related to the two gay Scotsmen...

    Ben Down

    and

    Phil McCaffity


  • edited October 2011

    Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
    "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
    Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
    Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

  • I met a Dutchman yesterday with Sat Nav built into his shoes. F**king clever clogs
  • Clive who the fuck do you think your calling stupid I would like you to say that to my face but I bet you wouldn't coz your conputer screens not there to hide behind.

    Sadiejane nobody would post pictures of children on here that's completely different to telling a joke, why would you even make that comparison.

    This idiot can post anything he wants and call it a sick joke and get away with it that's my point. Would you call a child being forced to have anal sex a joke? I wouldn't but that's my point he compares it to eating broccoli and all of a sudden its ok?????
  • Booooooooooo
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