FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.
A bus full of nuns crashes and unfortunately they all die. At the gates of heaven they meet St Peter.
He asks the first nun "have you ever had any contact with a penis. the nun replies "i poked one once" St Peter says "wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven"
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "i fiddled with one once". "wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven"
then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front
"whats wrong?" he asks
the nun replies "if i'm going to have to gargle that holy water, i want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it"
An Australian businessman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo , Japan ..
Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,'Manicures, $20.00'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood....into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit.........
> A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. > She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, > but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an > ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. > > Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. > > > > She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she > decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have > him around the house than the drunk. > > He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew > a lot about ranching. > > For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. > Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have > done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go > into town and kick- your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and > went into town one Saturday night.. > > One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. > > Two o'clock and no hired hand. > > Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he > found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of > wine, waiting for him. > > She quietly called him over to her. > > "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. > > > Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." > > He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." > > He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. > > > "Now take off my skirt." > > He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire > light. > > "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was > told and dropped it to the floor. > > Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into > town again, you're fired." >
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
> A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. > She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, > but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an > ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. > > Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. > > > > She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she > decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have > him around the house than the drunk. > > He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew > a lot about ranching. > > For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. > Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have > done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go > into town and kick- your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and > went into town one Saturday night.. > > One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. > > Two o'clock and no hired hand. > > Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he > found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of > wine, waiting for him. > > She quietly called him over to her. > > "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. > > > Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." > > He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." > > He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. > > > "Now take off my skirt." > > He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire > light. > > "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was > told and dropped it to the floor. > > Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into > town again, you're fired." >
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
Why is there a Russian Ambassador in Russia?
Why are you trying to get logic out of a joke?
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
Why is there a Russian Ambassador in Russia?
Why are you trying to get logic out of a joke?
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
Why is there a Russian Ambassador in Russia?
Why are you trying to get logic out of a joke?
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
But why is a there a Panda in a pub? ;-)
I don't know, the Panda was in a brothel when I heard the joke
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
Why is there a Russian Ambassador in Russia?
Why are you trying to get logic out of a joke?
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
But why is a there a Panda in a pub? ;-)
I don't know, the Panda was in a brothel when I heard the joke
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
Why is there a Russian Ambassador in Russia?
Why are you trying to get logic out of a joke?
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
But why is a there a Panda in a pub? ;-)
I don't know, the Panda was in a brothel when I heard the joke
An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt.
He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"
So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.
"Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."
So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear. When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?"
"Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed. "Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.
"Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly. Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"
Comments
'Mind how you're swinging that hammer about lad'.
May he erect a penis.
I saw a sign in a jewellery shop window that said watch batteries fitted here. I watched for about 2 hours & got bored so I went home.
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.
At the gates of heaven they meet St Peter.
He asks the first nun "have you ever had any contact with a penis. the nun replies "i poked one once" St Peter says "wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven"
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "i fiddled with one once". "wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven"
then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front
"whats wrong?" he asks
the nun replies "if i'm going to have to gargle that holy water, i want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it"
An Australian businessman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo , Japan ..
Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to
the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall
from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and
stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and
whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his
reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,'Manicures, $20.00'.
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the
slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled
out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need
When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly,
and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood....into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost
passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender
unit.........
which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.
> A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
> She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch,
> but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an
> ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
>
> Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
>
>
>
> She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
> decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have
> him around the house than the drunk.
>
> He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew
> a lot about ranching.
>
> For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
> Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
> done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go
> into town and kick- your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and
> went into town one Saturday night..
>
> One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
>
> Two o'clock and no hired hand.
>
> Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he
> found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of
> wine, waiting for him.
>
> She quietly called him over to her.
>
> "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
>
>
> Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
>
> He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
>
> He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
>
>
> "Now take off my skirt."
>
> He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire
> light.
>
> "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
> told and dropped it to the floor.
>
> Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into
> town again, you're fired."
>
>
>
>
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
'Yes,m'lady?'
a Panda goes into pub, eats some food then pulls out a gun and kills everyone.
When the police turn up they ask why he did it and before walking away the Panda replies... Beause I eat shoots and leaves
According to my Panda mate..
Girlfriend and I were very drunk but I remember the coppers in the front got very angry.
A panda rolling down a hill.
What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt panda.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they'd look stupid in denim jackets.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they're in black and white.
He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"
So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.
"Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."
So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.
When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?"
"Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed.
"Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.
"Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.
Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"