http://forum.charltonlife.com/categories/fun-jokes-captions/feed.rss Tue, 21 May 2013 20:10:49 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions - Charlton Life en-CA http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55264/george-michael-takes-lets-go-outside-a-step-too-far Tue, 21 May 2013 10:58:35 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Covered End 55264@/discussions •Katherine Fox, 23, skidded to a halt as singer tumbled onto carriageway
•Star's Adidas tracksuit was ripped and trainers and sunglasses torn off
•She said: 'There was nasty cut on his forehead and blood down his face'
•Children's nanny reversed her Mini to shield Michael, 49, from traffic
•'He was in the arms of his friend. The guy holding him was quite scared'
]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55116/things-women-say Mon, 13 May 2013 08:34:02 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Essex_Al 55116@/discussions
At the weekend, me and the missus had this conversation...............

Her:- Oh, you haven't had your lamb chops this week!

Me:- I didn't realise you had bought any?

Her:- I haven't!

WTF!


I'll put my thinking cap on for a few more because she is a genious at these sort of conversations.


I'm sure there are some real pearlers you could share, sorry ladies!]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/19050/jokes Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:54:36 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Fishnets 19050@/discussions
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'

I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet.
'Best before End'

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'

I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood.' I said, 'Where is he then?'

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.

I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.

The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'

I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'

I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened.. I said 'I careered off the road'

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'

I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'

A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.']]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55245/21-celebrities-who-might-be-time-travellers Mon, 20 May 2013 13:34:45 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Callumcafc 55245@/discussions http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/4920729/21-celebrities-who-might-be-time-travellers.html]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55165/pointless-interestspastimes Wed, 15 May 2013 17:30:34 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions bazjonster 55165@/discussions
Formula One Motor Racing - Pretentious, pointless, processional, boring claptrap! Fans of this 'sport' really need to get out more!]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55175/embarassing-conversations Thu, 16 May 2013 08:37:29 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions man_at_milletts 55175@/discussions
Kid: Cor, Grandad is that you in the picture with the cup?
JT: Yep, that’s me holding the cup up, and that’s me dancing on the pitch with the rest of team
Kid: Wow, that’s brilliant. What was is like playing on the night?
JT: Errm, shall we go and play with the trainset I’ve just bought you, it’s really cool.
Kid: No granddad I wanna hear about the game, what number were you?
JT: 26
Kid: Well that’s funny Grandad, I looked in the programme and there’s no number 26 on the Chelsea teamsheet
JT: Perhaps that’s a misprint, gimme that programme here and let me look
Kid:Did you play all the game Grandad?
JT: We’ll, aherm, not quite, you see son, it was squad rotation system in those days.
Kid: So you didn’t play in that game then?
JT: I did play in most of them son, let’s go and have a look out the window and see if your mum is coming.
Kid: No granddad, I wanna hear more about the game
JT: Well, we were all over ‘em as usual.
Kid: But you said you didn’t play in that game Grandad
JT: No, I was injured but I was allowed to put my kit on and join in after
Kid: Did the other injured players do that then?
JT: Err, not sure son.
Kid: My teachers used to support Chelsea then, but now they are in the 3rd division he goes and watches Welling United. He reckons you’re a nobhead.

Please feel free to add or continue this conversation ;-)
]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55217/fuller-to-chelsea Sat, 18 May 2013 08:44:40 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Mendonca In Asdas 55217@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55166/bit-of-help-required Wed, 15 May 2013 18:41:36 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions PL54 55166@/discussions
Had a few beers out on Monday and then last night had a few more than might be expected on a Tuesday.

Got up this morning to find my watch, phone, wallet, cufflinks, tie, shoes etc where I would usually put them and underwear and shirt all in the washing basket but could not find the suit I was wearing.

Looked everywhere in the 15 minutes I had to find the thing but no sign.

It needs finding tonight but no idea. It is not in any wardrobe and I even looked in the washing machine and dishwasher.

For those experienced in these things where do I focus ?

]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55199/friday-five Fri, 17 May 2013 09:27:27 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Henry Irving 55199@/discussions
Imperial measurements (Yards, Miles, Lbs) OR Metric measurements (Kilos, metres)

Dervite OR Cort?

Daft Punk - new disco stuff is their best OR Prefer the old electronic sound

Walkers Crisps OR Golden Wonder Crisps

Dortmund OR Bayern
]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55202/new-7080s-celebrity-abuse-shocker Fri, 17 May 2013 11:42:32 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Draizetrain 55202@/discussions
....and he deserved everything he got!

]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55183/made-me-smile Thu, 16 May 2013 15:03:01 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions BIG_ROB 55183@/discussions ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54994/food-items-you-hatedont-get Mon, 06 May 2013 18:07:59 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions BIG_ROB 54994@/discussions Glacier Cherries
Any fruit on chocolate cake
Lemon peel ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55112/geoguessr Sun, 12 May 2013 21:18:33 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions tangoflash 55112@/discussions http://www.geoguessr.com/

Basically, It uses google maps and drops you in a random place anywhere in the world that has been covered by a "street level" map. By travelling around and looking for clues, such as landmarks, street/town names (or even as I managed to do, I saw a website address on a business, so looked it up). Basically, by any means, try to locate your location as accurately as you can, scoring more points the closer you get. I've been as close as 0.01km and as far away as some place in southern Argentina, when if fact, it was in portugal.

I'm currently struggling to find my way around thailand (worked that much out by a flag) in some remote village...........................

]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/28298/sticky-there-is-no Mon, 17 Aug 2009 10:35:47 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Miserableoldgit 28298@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55125/instant-karma Mon, 13 May 2013 16:09:49 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Callumcafc 55125@/discussions

What a tool.]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55087/which-lifer-is-best-qualified-to-manage-millwall Sat, 11 May 2013 10:54:43 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions ShootersHillGuru 55087@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55115/crappy-boy-band-reinvent-themselves-as-authentic-punk-rockers Mon, 13 May 2013 02:35:18 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Oakster 55115@/discussions
This is my analogy for Palace and their fake ultra culture.

Come on Brighton knock 'em out tonight.....]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54367/tv-programmes-that-ought-to-be-repeated Sun, 07 Apr 2013 20:23:39 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Stig 54367@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55053/film-posters-album-covers-charlton-style Thu, 09 May 2013 00:28:07 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions tangoflash 55053@/discussions I'll kick it off with this one:


I was bored so I came up with this one. Decided on giving it the cartoon look, as I think it looks better this way....................]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55029/palarse-play-offs-team-pic Tue, 07 May 2013 21:38:53 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions bc_addick 55029@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/32739/new-word-game Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:59:38 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions sadiejane1981 32739@/discussions
****ANAGRAMS ARE NOW ALLOWED**** AS ONE MOVE

FIRE]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/55008/milton-jones-on-tour-catford-friday-25th-october-2013 Tue, 07 May 2013 09:41:37 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Miserableoldgit 55008@/discussions http://www.ents24.com/london-events/broadway-theatre/milton-jones/3274417]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54921/back Sat, 04 May 2013 05:27:24 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions BIG_ROB 54921@/discussions
Have I missed much..........?]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/42951/youtube Sun, 28 Aug 2011 05:30:42 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions tangoflash 42951@/discussions
I've just stumbled on this which for some reason made me chuckle......................


]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54784/hartlepool-penguins-they-are-on-their-way Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:20:03 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Brucie_CAFC 54784@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54148/weirdest-football-injury-ever Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:04:58 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Stig 54148@/discussions http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/sportvideo/9922595/Pine-marten-invades-football-pitch-and-bites-player.html]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/4619/andrew-mills-cause-of-poverty-and-war Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:56:38 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Sco 4619@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54864/please-tell-me-its-not-true Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:54:46 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Mendonca In Asdas 54864@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54847/greggs-the-bakers-tv-programme Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:39:16 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Mendonca In Asdas 54847@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54664/albert-einstein Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:57:09 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions lordromford 54664@/discussions
I only have one problem...

He wasn't really that good at maths and didn't really dominate the public image of modern science.

Can anyone say that they are really happy with Einstein's contribution?

Dara O'Briain's quite good at maths and it will be interesting to see which other lifers would agree that he would be a good choice to come up with the next major advance in modern science?

Love from dippee]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54719/train-spotters Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:45:48 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Sillybilly 54719@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54232/things-that-dont-annoy-you-in-fact-you-quite-like Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:22:37 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Riviera 54232@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54827/paul-reid-darren-farley-football-impressionists Sun, 28 Apr 2013 19:16:27 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Norfolk_Addick 54827@/discussions




More on http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDarrenFarleyShow/videos?view=0]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/53789/striking-a-deal-with-the-devil Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:45:55 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions oohaahmortimer 53789@/discussions Would you take the deal , no ifs or buts YES or NO

A YES from me ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54739/threads-youll-never-see-on-here Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:59:39 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions iainment 54739@/discussions
The Guardians much maligned, wrongly - goonerhater

Charlton - employers of the year - Airman Brown

More more more!



]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54727/your-alternative-birth-name Wed, 24 Apr 2013 23:33:51 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions johnny73 54727@/discussions
I would have been victoria. ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54763/text-your-parents-by-mistake Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:05:09 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Curb_It 54763@/discussions
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/what-happens-if-you-text-your-parents-pretending-to-be-a-dru ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54746/high-speed-hammock Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:18:03 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions creepyaddick 54746@/discussions
]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54713/which-cl-member-that-youve-met-was-not-like-you-had-envisaged Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:50:59 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Covered End 54713@/discussions
AFKA introduced me to @Len Glover on Saturday & I'm still chuckling to myself everytime I read one of his posts.

My expectation was he would be like one of the old gits/Paul Whitehouse from Harry & Paul.

He looked about 10/15 younger than I had envisaged & was very cheerful.

My flabber has not been so gasted for a long time :-)

I would never ever have guessed it was him.

PS very nice to meet you Len. ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54694/made-me-laugh Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:54:01 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions AdTheAddicK 54694@/discussions
Have always like Evian's adverts, but this is the best ! ]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/53759/cats-being-arseholes-for-fun Fri, 08 Mar 2013 11:53:52 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions iainment 53759@/discussions http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/03/06/cats-being-total-jerks-for-no-apparent-reason/]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/11580/things-you-never-knew-about-wolverhampton Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:12:42 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Henry Irving 11580@/discussions
2. The local football club is nickname The Wolves not as a shortening of the towns name but because the forests around the town were infested with Wolves until they were all killed by Eric the Wolf Killer in 1623. In return for this act he was made Earl of Dudly.]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54589/it-doesnt-take-a-rocket-scientist Thu, 18 Apr 2013 17:11:25 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions limeygent 54589@/discussions
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo --

"Defrost the chicken." (True Story)




]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54558/championship-xi-prediction Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:48:35 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Addickted2TheReds 54558@/discussions
Mine is a diamond 442:

Butland.

Solly. Shittu. Hudson. Bridge.

Jedinak.
Bolasie. Ince.
Jackson.

Vydra. Austin.]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54541/this-is-a-fun-game Tue, 16 Apr 2013 21:31:09 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions JollyRobin 54541@/discussions
I'll start:

Frank Nouble]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54531/middlesborough-away Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:09:12 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions bwhite66 54531@/discussions http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54526/players-managers-and-pundits-at-war-with-the-english-language-no-1-in-an-occasional-series Mon, 15 Apr 2013 23:26:47 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Exiled_Addick 54526@/discussions
"I suppose across the board when you first introduce something new the fair/unfair scenario has to get sorted out somewhere along the line to find out how you have to tweak it to make it better,"

Pardon Sam?

Full article here.]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54447/friday-would-ya Fri, 12 Apr 2013 10:05:54 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions JT 54447@/discussions
I'm oot.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/4882953/boob-job-great-granny-plans-to-wed-29-year-old-toyboy.html#ixzz2QEzkU21H



]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/54403/best-caption-pics Tue, 09 Apr 2013 13:16:51 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions AdTheAddicK 54403@/discussions Theres loads out at the moment anyone got one ?


]]> http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/47641/the-olly-thread Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:48:54 +0000 Fun, Jokes & Captions Glovepup 47641@/discussions


Edits:









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